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Chinese views wanted about dating question [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2007-3-25 22:21:46 |Display all floors
I read on another site, a man, saying that in china often the women will be the pursuers, go after the guys. Huh? Is that true? He said that's one reason foreign women don't end up dating chinese guys much, because in western countries it's the man that makes the first move and when women do they are often seen as ... too easy. So the western woman, as usual, waits for the chinese guy to ask her out but he may not because HE might seem like a player??

Then there's the stereotype that western women are too assertive or whatever.  

So now I'm confused. Would chinese guys think a western woman is too easy (or too assertive) if she makes it known she likes him or asks him to go somewhere together? Or would that be normal and acceptable?


(don't anyone jump on me like I'm planning to ask a guy out, I'm just wondering, it was unexpected for me to read that & I wanna know if it's true) (I think my year in china may also be my year of being a nun)
I am not rich.  :L

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Post time 2007-3-25 22:50:25 |Display all floors
Originally posted by freakyqi at 2007-3-25 22:21
I read on another site, a man, saying that in china often the women will be the pursuers, go after the guys. Huh? Is that true? He said that's one reason foreign women don't end up dating chinese g ...


The name of the "game" is called matching. If the man thinks you are too aggressive, assertive, strong, froceful, easy, etc. then he is not for you. On the other hand, if your approach matches his taste and style, then you get your ideal man. The confirmation phase is based on constant mutual evaluation and judgement. Good judgement and timing are essential elements for a lasting relationship.

Getting your admission ticket and being seated inside the arena do not guareentee that you will have a good showing. Especially when you are not an absolute obsrever but rather an active player in this matching "game".

Anyone thinks you are "cheap", forget him...if you have doubts about your own action...forget it...if you are not comfortable doing it...forget it...you have to be yourself...people can't accept you...forget them!:)

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Post time 2007-3-26 04:13:29 |Display all floors
I am an European man, but I have a Chinese girlfriend. From what I have learned about Chinese dating culture, this is similar with westerns countries. The boy is the active part, trying to chase the girl. Chinese girls are quite shy compared with western and they will wait for the boy to take the first approach. Let my know if I am right. I have not been to many cities in China, and I am sure this might be different from different provinces and cities. Please, are there any Chinese girls out there that can help us answering this question!?

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Post time 2007-3-26 05:04:30 |Display all floors
i think girls are supposed to be quiet and shy in chinese dating culture....if girls start the first move...chinese guys will think she is easy..or cheap...or open ...therefore...wont treat her seriously.....

i might be wrong...but thts wat my mother has told me years ago.....
I don't know if I like you or love you, want you or need you, all I know is I love the feeling I get when I'm near you.

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Post time 2007-3-26 22:55:30 |Display all floors
sinfulangel ,andershf

you are both right.....

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Post time 2007-3-27 00:57:28 |Display all floors
That's what I thought. I don't understand why that person was saying women make the moves. Hmm. Thanks for all your opinions.
I am not rich.  :L

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Post time 2007-3-27 02:41:57 |Display all floors
from my personal experience living in the heart of shenzhen for about little less than a year, girls here are far from being shy...

chinese girls from rural areas... maybe
"It ain't no thang but a chicken wing."

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