Author: changzhou007

Are you shy? How to overcome shyness? [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2007-3-12 16:40:43 |Display all floors

I am not shy

So  I will go out of this building asap.
You are the world

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Post time 2007-3-12 18:46:26 |Display all floors
I still remember when I was in senior high school, going to the front before the platform and deliver a short speech to the class was a big thing to us students. Some would feel nervous about it, including me. And other more experienced students told us that if you weren't afraid of losing face, you wouldn't be nervous at all.
Of course we should get ourselves prepared before the speech, but everything is important and meanwhile not that important, so always keep an eye on the whole situation and don't trap yourself in a small accident even if you have actually lost face, you may forget it and go on your new life 'cause it's likely that others will forget faster than you.
Life is a journey, not a destination.

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Post time 2007-3-13 07:56:12 |Display all floors
Originally posted by susansusan at 2007-3-12 16:40
I am not shy,
So  I will go out of this building asap.


hiding away from your boss?
- It seemed to me that meant your are shy ...

Too shy to be more specific or to tell us a story or anecdote?

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Post time 2007-3-13 07:59:33 |Display all floors

Yeah, I had something similar too …

The speech I made years and years ago was still stuck at the back of my mind,  at that time, my hands were trembling; my teeth were shuddering; my eyes were fixed on the floor;  that was a catastrophe, like the sky was falling ...

I have been crawling my way back step by step, through those misty and foggy years.:)

Yep, fear of losing face, fear of failure, fear of being laughed at, are making our mouth shut, driving us away from asking questions, taking us away from getting deep conversations ...

Any practical or hand-on suggestion?

For example,  we are doing workout  to make our body fit,  does the similar workout for shyness exist?

Originally posted by lotus_flower at 2007-3-12 18:46
I still remember when I was in senior high school, going to the front before the platform and deliver a short speech to the class was a big thing to us students. Some would feel nervous about it, i ...

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2007-3-13 08:04:24 |Display all floors
Yeah, I had something similar too …  

The speech I made years and years ago was stuck at the back of my mind,  at that time, my hands were trembling; my teeth were shuddering; my eyes were fixed on the floor;  that was a catastrophe, like the sky was falling …

I have been crawling my way back step by step, through those misty and foggy years.:)

Yeah, fear of losing face, fear of failure, fear of being laughed at, are making our mouth shut, driving us away from asking questions, taking us away from getting deep conversations …

Any practical or hand-on suggestion?

For example,  we are doing workout  to make our body fit,  Does the similar workout for shyness exist?

Originally posted by lotus_flower at 2007-3-12 18:46
I still remember when I was in senior high school, going to the front before the platform and deliver a short speech to the class was a big thing to us students. Some would feel nervous about it, i ...

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Rank: 4

Post time 2007-3-13 12:53:42 |Display all floors
Originally posted by changzhou007 at 2007-3-13 08:04
Yeah, I had something similar too …  

The speech I made years and years ago was stuck at the back of my mind,  at that time, my hands were trembling; my teeth were shuddering; my eyes we ...


First of all we should learn how to believe in ourselves and rely on ourselves, or we will have almost no one to rely on.
And don't think about the coming speech all the time, this won't help, only to make yourself far too nervous and serious about it. Just do everything necessary as usual, and just regard the speech as a very common part of everything.
And I think the so-called big things and small things in life are similar in nature, and sometimes they can change into each other. So suppose you are able to manage all sorts of things properly and skillfully, especially those which are connected with communication, then you could never be afraid of any forms of lecture. On the contrary, if you always fear a public speech, that means your capability of communication needs improving, so you should focus more on it and take every opportunity of practising. Practice makes perfect.
Life is a journey, not a destination.

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2007-3-13 14:11:07 |Display all floors
You have shed some light on the fear of public speech by building up one's confidence and belief and practice. Thanks.

One of a few things I have picked up is that making yourself comfortable will make others comfortable as well, and another is called as "You are the message", which means that you are sending signals about what kind of person you are, by your eyes, your facial expression, your body movement, your vocal pitch, tone, volume and intensity, your commitment to your message, your sense of humor ... in a word, be yourself.

I'd agreed with you about the interchangeable of big and small things. You see, it all comes down to a dialogue which doesn't matter how you would talk to a person or to a thousand people an long as you are confident and comfortable.

Hmmm, it makes me move on to the next topic. You see, a shy person is getting nervous when he/she is making a chit-chat.

My question is that

How does a shy person improve a small talk with another person? And more importantly, how can a shy man keep the good conversation going?

Any idea and suggestion?

Originally posted by lotus_flower at 2007-3-13 12:53
First of all we should learn how to believe in ourselves and rely on ourselves, or we will have almost no one to rely on.
And don't think about the coming speech all the time, this won't help, ...

[ Last edited by changzhou007 at 2007-3-14 09:58 AM ]

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