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Originally posted by kissvampire at 2007-4-10 23:55
Freakyqi, I regard you as a strong woman, but would you think of having a family because your son might need a male model in his life.
No! That sounds practical at first thought, but I can tell you many reasons, from experience, why it's not that simple or even necessary:
1 - It would be a BAD model if I brought someone into my life if I didn't love him and didn't have a good marriage with him. We can't marry to simply have a man in the house, not just any man. What if you don't share all the same values & ways of life? That could be only more trouble to the child. And then you'd be "stuck with" this man forever, even though he wasn't even all that great. It's still difficult to find the right one! Should we lower our standards and bring a sub-par person into our homes to act as a parent, of all things?
2 - You cannot just bring a new parent into a child's life and expect them to have a parent/child relationship. That happened to me, and I did NOT feel ONE BIT like my stepmother was a mother. She was just a lady my father married. I was 9. More often than not, a child (especially older) knows in his heart that it's not a real parent, and sometimes there's even resentment and confusion at having a new person acting like a parent.
3 - If a person has family & close friends, there are plenty of male role models in a child's life. My son was taught many things by my father, he hunted a deer with my brother, goes fishing with my sister's husband, etc....
And most things in life can be taught by either a mother OR father. My son has talked to me about sex and drugs and drinking, and asked advice about his friend's problems. He has also done things behind my back, our life is not perfect, but I can't imagine marrying someone I don't love just to have a strange man in the house.