Author: whirlingone

What does marriage mean for a man and a woman? [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2007-4-10 13:36:22 |Display all floors
marriage is a belief,so I think it is a responsibility , when a pair of lover enter into a significant stage of love, they should establish a family and give birth to a baby .

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Post time 2007-4-10 15:33:42 |Display all floors
women need a reason.
men only need a place.

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Post time 2007-4-10 16:43:55 |Display all floors
To some extent, for some woman, it means dressing up for just one man instead of exhaustingly dressing up for a lot of men
Learn to be independent!

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Post time 2007-4-10 23:14:14 |Display all floors
I agree with who said it's largely for children. I had my son very young, and I quickly split up with his father. For the past 15yrs, I've had no big strong desire to get married or to have any more children. Actually I did have the desire to get married to someone since then, but things didn't work that way and it passed. Right now I have no reason to be married.

It's also largely because of the LAW. In many societies, especially older ones, it really was only two people living together. If they decided to live together, they were considered to be married.
In an african tribe (don't know which) if a man & woman are seen eating from the same bowl they're viewed as a couple, like being married. In the MOSUO culture (search it here at CD, there are a few threads about them) the woman decides who she'll invite to live with her, and it doesn't have to be forever. Although it often is, it seems to be ok if it only lasts a few months or years. Maybe it's more accepted that things aren't always "forever".

In some old European culture (something pagan) there's a handbinding ceremony... I forget the name of it... but it's a ceremony where they wrap a cord around their hands & the couple will now live together for one year, after which they will either split up or get married for good.
I am not rich.  :L

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Post time 2007-4-10 23:55:37 |Display all floors

One question

If a man says he loves you and also likes to have kids with you, but he does not want marriage, what is that?

I am not the one who advovate marriage much, but I do think marriage is neccessary for two person who have kids.

Freakyqi, I regard you as a strong woman, but would you think of  having a family because your son might need a male model in his life.

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Post time 2007-4-11 00:28:00 |Display all floors
Originally posted by kissvampire at 2007-4-10 23:55
Freakyqi, I regard you as a strong woman, but would you think of  having a family because your son might need a male model in his life.


No! That sounds practical at first thought, but I can tell you many reasons, from experience, why it's not that simple or even necessary:

1 - It would be a BAD model if I brought someone into my life if I didn't love him and didn't have a good marriage with him. We can't marry to simply have a man in the house, not just any man. What if you don't share all the same values & ways of life? That could be only more trouble to the child. And then you'd be "stuck with" this man forever, even though he wasn't even all that great. It's still difficult to find the right one! Should we lower our standards and bring a sub-par person into our homes to act as a parent, of all things?

2 - You cannot just bring a new parent into a child's life and expect them to have a parent/child relationship. That happened to me, and I did NOT feel ONE BIT like my stepmother was a mother. She was just a lady my father married. I was 9. More often than not, a child (especially older) knows in his heart that it's not a real parent, and sometimes there's even resentment and confusion at having a new person acting like a parent.

3 - If a person has family & close friends, there are plenty of male role models in a child's life. My son was taught many things by my father, he hunted a deer with my brother, goes fishing with my sister's husband, etc....
:)

And most things in life can be taught by either a mother OR father. My son has talked to me about sex and drugs and drinking, and asked advice about his friend's problems. He has also done things behind my back, our life is not perfect, but I can't imagine marrying someone I don't love just to have a strange man in the house.
I am not rich.  :L

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Post time 2007-4-11 01:13:01 |Display all floors

What does marriage mean for a man and a woman?

The end of life as we know it and the beginning of hell on earth.

Just kidding!

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