- Registration time
- Last login
- Online time
- 4 Hour
- Reading permission
and there being no parents now and us being over here,|
it's my job to keep an eye on him. Not my job, obviously, I'm glad to do it...
That's OK. Life is full of interruptions and complications.
Will it make him better?
Hey. How you doing?
Right, right. Oh, no, please.
Oh, please, please don't, little darling.
Between the two of us we'll find the answer and it won't hurt any more.
I'm-I'm not busy. I...
Of course, if you want me to come over I will. Mm-hm.
That was a good night.
- Except I felt fat. - Don't be ridiculous.
Nowadays the only clothes I can get into were once owned by Pavarotti.
I always think Pavarotti dresses very well.
Mia's very pretty.
You know she is, darling.
Be careful there.
Have you been watching stuff on TV?
- Every night. - Good.
And every day.
- The nurses are trying to kill me. - Nobody's trying to kill you, babe.
Don't do that, my darling.
Don't do that.
Right. Back at three. Christmas shopping, never easy or pleasant.
Are you gonna get me something?
I don't know, I hadn't thought.
Where's Sarah, by the way?
She couldn't make it in. Family thing.
There's a word for hangover I've never heard before.
- See you later. - Yes. Looking forward to it.
Are you gonna give me something?
I thought I made it clear last night.
When it comes to me, you can have everything.
So, erm, what do you need?
Something along the stationery line? Are you short of staplers?
No. I don't want something I need.
I want something I want. Something pretty.
Sorry I'm late, I had to drop off Bernie at rehearsal.
Right, listen, you keep yourself occupied
while I do the boring stuff for our mothers.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
Looking for anything in particular, sir?
Yes. That necklace there, how much is it?
- Erm, all right. Er, I'll have it. - Lovely.
Would you like it... giftwrapped?
- Yes, all right. - Lovely.
Let me just pop it in the box.
- Look, could we be quite quick? - Certainly, sir.
Ready in the flashiest of flashes.
- There. - That's great.
Not quite finished.
- I don't need a bag, I'll put it in my pocket. - Oh, this isn't a bag, sir.
- Really? - This is so much more than a bag.
Could we be quite quick, please?
- What's that? - A cinnamon stick, sir.
- Actually, I really can't wait. - You won't regret it, sir.
Want to bet?
'Tis but the work of a moment.
There we go. Almost finished.
Are you gonna dip it in yogurt? Cover it with chocolate buttons?
No, sir, we're going to pop it in the Christmas box.
I don't want a Christmas box.
- But you wanted it giftwrapped. - I did but...
- The final flourish. - Can I pay?
- All we need now... - Oh, God.
...is a sprig of holly. - No, no, no, no.
- No bloody holly. - But sir...
- Leave it. - Ooh!
- Loitering around the jewellery section? - No. I was just looking around.
Don't worry. My expectations are not that high
after 13 years of Mr Oh-But-You-Always-Love-Scarves.
Actually, I do love this one.
"I've gotta know
"Where do the Ionely hearts go..."
- Hey! - What are you doing here?
Had to rent out my flat to pay for my ticket.
You're not actually going ahead with this stupid plan?
I bloody am.
You think this is full of clothes? Like hell it is.
It is chock-a-block full of condoms.
Excellent. Excellent. Perfect, keep that going.
sorry to be a bit forward and all that but...
you don't fancy going for a Christmas drink, do you? I mean, nothing implied.
Just maybe go and see something Christmassy or something.
Obviously, if you don't want to, you don't have to. I...
I'm rambling now, sorry.
No. That would be lovely.
You know, that is really great.
Normally, I'm really shy, takes me ages to get the courage up, so thank you.
- Explain again why you're so late. - Can't a man have any secrets?
We've been waiting for hours, it's the first ever preview.
"...is a thing of the past
"Maybe you can bring us all hope this year
"Visions of sugarplums have disappeared..."
It was a starry night in ancient Jerusalem
and the baby Jesus was in his manger.
Sherlock Holmes is not a real detective.
Is this the way to the train station?
I would like half-pint of churly.
I would like a one-day Travelcard.
Oh, my God, I've got a terrible stomachache.
It must have been the prawns.
Milton Keynes has many roundabouts.
My goodness, this is a very big fish!
It tastes delicious!
"All alone on Christmas
"Nobody ought to be alone on Christmas
"All alone on Christmas "Nobody ought to be alone on Christmas
"Tell me I've got to know
"Nobody ought to be alone on Christmas "Don't leave me alone"
- You'll come back a broken man. - Yeah, back broken from too much sex.
You are on the road to disaster.
No, I am on shag highway, heading west.
America, watch out! Here comes Colin Frissell.
"And he's got a big knob"
- Take me to a bar. - What kind of bar?
Just any bar. Just your average American bar.
" Man, it's a hot one
"Like seven inches from the midday sun..."
- Can I help you? - Yes. I'd like a Budweiser, please.
- King of beers. - Bud coming up.
Oh, my God.
Are you from England?
- Yes. - Oh...
that is so cute.
Hi, I'm Stacey.
- This is... - Colin.
- Jeannie. - He's from England.
- Oh. - Oh.
Wait till Carol-Anne gets here. She's crazy about English guys.
- Hey, girls. - Carol-Anne, come meet Colin.
He's from England.
Well, step aside, ladies. This one's on me.
- Hey, gorgeous.
That is so funny!
- What do you call that? - Er, bottle.
- What about this? - Er, straw.
- What about this? - Table.
- Table. The same. - Oh, it's the same.
- Where are you staying? - I don't actually know.
I'll just check into a motel like in the movies.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, that is so cute.
No, no, no, listen. This may be a bit pushy cos we just met you but...
why don't you come back and sleep at our place?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Well, if it's not too much of an inconvenience.
- Hell no! - But there's one problem.
Well, we're not the richest of girls, you know.
So we just have a little bed and no couch.
So you'd have to share with all three of us.
And on this cold, cold night it's gonna be crowded and sweaty and stuff.
And we can't even afford pyjamas.
we would be naked.