Author: whirlingone

(original works)Can you hear the falling leaves? [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2006-12-30 23:06:18 |Display all floors
Originally posted by qinger at 2006-12-30 17:19
many thanks, Jeff. :)

i could see that  you prefered to stick to the original writing while giving out your revision. it's nice of you to do so.  compared with your revision, i have changed ...


Thanks for the leaf. May I use it as my bookmark?:)
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Post time 2006-12-30 23:09:16 |Display all floors
Originally posted by jeff_in_sf at 2006-12-30 17:54
Well, I liked your version, also, qinger, but I did want to stick more closely to the original so whirlingone could see the revisions.

There was something elegantly simple about th ...


Thanks for the autumn evening, I think it's more beautiful than my essay.:)
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Post time 2006-12-31 03:12:32 |Display all floors
Originally posted by whirlingone at 2006-12-30 07:09 AM
Thanks for the autumn evening, I think it's more beautiful than my essay.:)
I wanted to find something that matched your beautiful essay! :)

"electronical" isn't a word. electronic is the word to use.

insensible is a fairly uncommon word but it fits here.
Originally posted by whirlingone at 2006-12-30 06:57 AM
''as city noises so overwhelming,'' Do we need to put 'are' like "as city noises are so overwhelming,"?
Yes, in fact, maybe, "as the noises of the city are so overwhelming" might work even better…

You can use either "velvet" or "clear"—they just evoke different images and feelings…

I think qinger's leaf is lovely also!
中文我不会读也不会写。Really, I don't.

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Post time 2006-12-31 14:57:04 |Display all floors
"it was only the stamping sound on those fallen leaves that i have ever heard"


hi, whirlingone,

i have to mention that this sentence by me is kind of wrong although it's not easy to see. you misunderstood Jeff he just pointed out this error of mine, but it actually made you thought  this sentence is even better.

actually, the sentence should be---> it was only the stamping sound on those fallen leaves that i once heard.
私は花の子です。名前はルンルンです。。。。。。

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Post time 2006-12-31 16:08:30 |Display all floors
[quote]2006-12-31 14:57
QUOTE:
"it was only the stamping sound on those fallen leaves that i have ever heard"


Perhaps
"The only sound I had  heard was that of feet stamping on those fallen leaves" ?

[ Last edited by waibeijing at 2006-12-31 04:09 PM ]

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Post time 2006-12-31 17:27:58 |Display all floors
Originally posted by jeff_in_sf at 2006-12-31 03:12
I wanted to find something that matched your beautiful essay! :)

"electronical" isn't a word. electronic is the word to use.

insensible is a fairly uncommon word but i ...


Thanks for the explanations, they are helpful to me.
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Post time 2006-12-31 17:30:08 |Display all floors
Originally posted by qinger at 2006-12-31 14:57


hi, whirlingone,

i have to mention that this sentence by me is kind of wrong although it's not easy to see. you misunderstood Jeff he just pointed out this error of mine, but it actually mad ...


''actually, the sentence should be---> it was only the stamping sound on those fallen leaves that i once heard. ''
Here 'it was...' is a past tense, 'I once heard' is also a past tense. So they match right?
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