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my wife and I share the household responsibilities. There are certain things she does more frequently because either she likes to do them or she's better at them, such as laundry, cooking, shopping for food, etc. I like to cook, but I'm not very good at cooking Chinese food. We do eat a good mix of Chinese and American food. I cook spaghetti once a week and pork chops with baked potatoes another night. She cooks on other nights. sometimes we don't eat together depending on our schedules. but everything works out ok. I usually do the dishes because I'm good at it and I like to do it. I always cut the onions for her because she is very short and close to the onion - her eyes are very sensitive to the onion juice, whereas I am very tall and not so sensitive. I like to help her with the cooking. She's a fantastic cook - never uses a recipe book. |
It sounds to me like you and your husband do not have a very close relationship, perhaps you don't know how to be together. He has his games he likes to play on the computer, his tv shows he watches, his friends he hangs out with and his work. You have your work and the priorities in your life, like your family. But what do you share together?
If you share one thing, tell us what it is. Maybe we can help you make that shared thing more important in your life. Perhaps you both like travel? If so, you can plan simple traveling or exploration of new places every month. Perhaps you like food? Get some recipe books from foreign cultures and try new dishes together. Perhaps you like music? Start going to see a live concert every week. Something simple and fun. Local universities and colleges have students performing for free in every city in China. Check the local bulletin boards to find out where they are.
Whatever thing you both like to do together, strengthen that. The other things you are struggling with will become less important as you learn to enjoy your lives together as a couple.
Remember, the most important thing is to try to find things you share in common. That you both like equally well. And then focus on doing more of those things.