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First Date on Friday! Some questions.... Epilogue [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2006-12-6 05:18:36 |Display all floors
OK, I have been on a lot of first dates in my life but every one I go on always seems exciting.  The girl is Japanese-American born in the states and I think we are going to sushi.   So I have a few questions....

After dinner, what would be a good follow up activity?   I guess we could go to a movie but I always find movies to be bad for dates since you don't get to talk to your date during the movie.  Or is this a good thing?  Maybe during the movie you can get closer to her?

OK, so assuming the date is going well.  Is it expected that the guy kisses the girl goodnight on the first date?  If he doesn't kiss her goodnight would she think he doesn't like her?   What about a hug?   Does anyone ever hug goodnight on the first date?  A hug seems more natural at first and just in case the girl doesn't like the guy it isn't as "intrusive" as a kiss.....

Now I realize cultural differences in dating between the US and China might make these questions difficult to answer so try to put yourself in the shoes of someone in the US....

Thanks!  

[ Last edited by mark069 at 2007-2-10 11:57 PM ]

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Post time 2006-12-6 08:56:31 |Display all floors
no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie no movie

You're right, you can't talk, you don't even LOOK at each other. Bad first or second date.

KISSING - I don't think anything is "expected" before the date actually happens. I think it's something that each person will either hope for or hope against at some point during the date. Being that she's from the US, I think a goodbye hug is safe, I know I wouldn't care too much if a person I didn't like hugged me. I'd be glad it was only a hug & he didn't try more, but anyone can bear a hug. (no offense, I'm just imagining the worst, like if she really doesn't like you, I think a hug would still not be too uncomfortable for her if she's even half human) Maybe you'll be able to tell by the hug if she's liking it & there'll be a chance for more of them.  Over ALL, though, don't force anything like that, people can tell. Only do it if it feels natural. If it's awkward & you want to but it's just not coming, maybe you can be cute about it & a little funny - like... "So am I allowed to hug you now?" in a cute way.

Don't kiss just because you think you should or even because you are anxious about it - honestly, I would not kiss at all on the first date (unless you already know each other quite well and have both already been wanting it)... otherwise... don't kiss until you BOTH can't stand it anymore and you simply must kiss.

(don't get me wrong, I've been naughty on first dates in my time, but now as an adult I feel differently. It's not prudishness talking, it's romantic-ness )

Oooh, I'm excited for you, even though it's not me you're going out with. Good luck!
I am not rich.  :L

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Post time 2006-12-6 09:56:33 |Display all floors
Fk's input is of big value in terms of its reference...! The girl you mentioned was born and brought up in the US, just like FK, she'll act the way FK suggested she would...! So do as Fk advise, and proceed as your instinct guides u...! you'll surely reach that destination you have in mind...!

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Post time 2006-12-6 10:22:46 |Display all floors
Originally posted by mark069 at 2006-12-6 05:18
OK, I have been on a lot of first dates in my life but every one I go on always seems exciting.  The girl is Japanese-American born in the states and I think we are going to sushi.   So I have a fe ...


I know that the laowai always like kiss at the first date which Asian girls,or maybe chinese girls,will think it is too fast!
but as I learned from some book---that they kiss you just to express their affection to you,and if you understand this difference,you will be more comfortable to accept this.So I think a goodnight kiss is ok,and as she was born in the states,I think she can understand your culture
my teacher said:Neither too fast nor too late,that's the spirit
爱情什么都象,就是不象爱情...Love is a Fallacy

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Post time 2006-12-6 11:03:29 |Display all floors

Thanks for the input so far....

In particular, Freakyqi for her detailed explanations....   That exactly what I was looking for.  I honestly don't think I have EVER kissed on the first date simply because I didn't know 100% that it would be well accepted.  I usually try to look for signs that a kiss will be welcomed.   

Hell, some girls even initiate the first kiss.  

I have a good female friend who just got married and she told us during the reception that SHE initiated the first kiss.  I think it was on their third or fourth date and she said she was waiting for him to make a move but he never did so she couldn't take it anymore and she "attacked him" (her words)....

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Post time 2006-12-6 11:11:25 |Display all floors
Originally posted by mark069 at 2006-12-6 11:03
In particular, Freakyqi for her detailed explanations....   That exactly what I was looking for.  I honestly don't think I have EVER kissed on the first date simply because I didn't know 100% that  ...

hehe,intersting,but I do not know whether guys like girls to initiate the "attack"?
爱情什么都象,就是不象爱情...Love is a Fallacy

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Post time 2006-12-6 11:38:14 |Display all floors
That's on the Attack!

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