Author: furongwang

Can someone please help me? [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 1

Post time 2006-11-26 05:34:26 |Display all floors
No, I have not planned a trip back to the states recently nor have I been staying out late.  This is an accumulation of problems that have been mounting for the past 2 years.  Her constant "I am right and you are wrong".  Telling me when to eat, how much to eat, what to, when to go to bed, when to get up, when to go to work, when to come home.  Do I have my faults, yes!  But I have never hit her, gone through her personal things or accused her of any impropriety.  She still thinks I am up to no good.  I have told her to hire a private detective to follow me and record my every action.  I have nothing to hide.

She quit her job when I came here and me like a dummy let her be in charge of the household finances.  I was told "this was the Chinese way".  Now I have to ask her for money for lunch, money for my cab or bus fare.  I am full of this nonsense!

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2006-11-26 06:01:58 |Display all floors
well from what you have told me so far she is realy insecure over something , you are going to have to get some control back or you risk becoming a passenger in this relationship, open another account  and get your boss to direct deposit  a percentage of your wages into that new account  and tell your partner you are making more superanuation contributions to ensure that you both will have a comfortable retirement , I believe you are going to need something to fall back on , if you cannot find some way of addressing her insecurity things are going to get worse.
There are no Ugly women , only those with low self esteem .

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2006-11-26 07:23:50 |Display all floors
i think she is a control freak ... she wants everything in her way ... and she thinks that since you guys have been together for 2 years, she has the right to possess you ....after all.. she is just a freak ... i dont think it will be happy again to live with such a woman ...

with your passport .. i am sure if you go to the consulate, they will be able to help you ... and also stay away from her ... take notes of everything happened so if things really go out of hand..you can have some evidence to support your case ... even though you are not chinese citizen, but i think the chinese police will be helpful ...

well..so sad for this relationship ... so little you can do .. .
I don't know if I like you or love you, want you or need you, all I know is I love the feeling I get when I'm near you.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2006-11-26 09:30:15 |Display all floors

Wow!! She is a nut job.

You should leave her as soon as possible.  If you stay together, things are just going to get worse.  Then you might get into some real trouble especially if you hit her.  What type of visa do you have?  Are you a permanent resident?
Peace!  Be strong and be brave!!

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Rank: 1

Post time 2006-11-26 09:32:58 |Display all floors
"From almost the moment I arrived things started falling apart." Does she want to go to the States instead of staying in China? What's the reason you decided to work in China vs. bring her to the States? She may don't see the future of this relationship especially you haven't married her. Did you have plan for your future possible family? A trouble like that won't come out of no reason at all. Well, good luck...

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Rank: 1

Post time 2006-11-26 10:01:58 |Display all floors
I am here on a work visa.  When I first met her I asked her if she wanted to come to the United States.  She said no that she felt America was not as safe a place to live as China and her family was all here in China and she did not want to move and leave them here.  So I agreed to come to China and make a life with her here.  I guess this was my first mistake.  From that point on I have lived by what she wants and the demands that she makes.

I now know why it was more important for me to come to China than for her to go to America.  It is all about control, control on her turf and on her terms.

I have hesitated to marry her because of her termper and I have told her this many times.  If she was still the kind, gentle, sweet woman that I first met in Zhuhai 3 years ago I would marry her in an instant.   So much for her security, where is mine?

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Rank: 1

Post time 2006-11-26 14:22:56 |Display all floors
Just tell you one of my friend's story. He met a girl before he immigrated to somewhere. Decided to get married in a short time. They did not have much time together since they were in two different countries then. The girl followed him abroad after he landed half an year. The girl could not find a job, does not want to find a job, does not have the nerve to go to school as her English is not good enough, does not want to have a baby, does not want to do housework. The girl does want to go back China to see her family only after she landed for a few months and does not want to accept any compromised solution. Eventually, this girl left her husband here and went back China. She want my friend to apologize and come back to pick up her at the beginning. Then she want him to go back China and even find a job for him. She says she feels more secure when she is in China as she can find a job and help her parent financially. They continue their argument over the phone for about a year. She was asking for all kinds of conditions, like help her parent immigrate, adopt her nephew as their children something like that. Her elder sister was divorced in the States and left her son to be brought up by grandparents in China. All her family members are on her side to support her and accusing my friend for his wrongdoing only. My friend had enough and decided to divorce. In your case, this woman loves her family more than you. She didn’t trust you and didn’t want to go to the States with you. I had to agree with the other one here, you will need to be prepared to cut the loss.

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