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Originally posted by lotus_flower at 2006-11-17 22:34
If you aren't able to get what you want exactly from reality, will you compromise toward the reality? For example, if you cannot find a boyfriend or girlfriend who loves you truly, will you marry a ...
In my view, this is a very personal decision. The question is, if you can't get the best, would you settle for the second best?....or would you take the approach that " I want the best and if I can't get the best I will have nothing"....Many people end up with nothing and they are happy because they believe it is worth it!
My position is that I would set up goals that are attainable and manageable within my limits. Again what is attainable and manageable for me may not be true for others. And the meanings of attainablilty and manageability are constantly changing too.
I need to have a feedback mechanism to keep me in touch with the ever changing reality and thus make appropiate adjustments to my most current circumstances.
Love affairs are even more personal than other stuff in life. Especially committing yourself to a life-long partner. Never rush yourself into anything is life rule #1...Yes, life is full of misses and gains. However, the worse thing you can do to yourself in life is to hand youself over to an abusive partner or a partner who you find no passion nor love.
Having children with someone you don't love is not cool...However, there are circumstances that one will chose other qualities over passionate love i.e. reliability, loyalty, honesty, etc...So if you have someone who loves you and met some of your requirements (even though you are not madly in love with him) and your priority in life is dependability, predictability, honesty, loyalty etc... and having a family (children)...you might want to consider him as a life-long partner.
Most of the flame of passionate love do not burn forever. How long do you expect such an high intensity of love would last (10 years? 20 years? 30 years? 40 years? 50 years?)? Look around you...You may find a few forever burning flames of passionate love!...Is it a common sight?