Author: whitney16

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Post time 2006-11-6 18:35:49 |Display all floors
my father is a little bit autocratic sometimes
but anyway he is good,and he start to smoke less and drink less :)
爱情什么都象,就是不象爱情...Love is a Fallacy

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Post time 2006-11-6 19:30:29 |Display all floors
Originally posted by leogirl at 2006-11-6 17:23
You are so kind that everytime when i cry,you come around and comfort me...although I just can't stop sobbing... You are the only one who understand my feeling in the family.

When I was a child , I was bullied by my brother, and then I cried loudly, after my father  heard my crying ,
he would come to me and blamed my brother.....
I wanted to buy something to eat , he would give me,,,
I was jealous of those little pricess's beautiful skirt, I asked my father to buy one for me,
after I cried noisily, he agreed and drove my mother and me (On a  big bike :)) to the market,,,,,,,
yeah, I admit, my father doted on me....
But I' m not spoiled .

My father never comfort me when I was sad....from childhood till now.
We love our home,though our feet can leave it,yet our hearts can't.

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Post time 2006-11-6 19:48:38 |Display all floors

whitney

You can try this. First, forget he is your father, forget the affection he had or you had for each other in the past. Just treat him as a not-so-close friend, a human being who has flaws. Then you'd not expect too much from him. Be curious about this friend. Try to understand why he addicts to alchoo. Why he couldn't cut the habit? Is his liver healthy? Does he need a body check? Does he has friends who can presuade him to not to drink?

When you pull back yourself from father-daughter relation, maybe you could be tolerate him more.
I suggest you and your mother always smile at home and talk something interesting or new ideas for family activities to inspire your father feeling there are more interesting things to do other than drinking.
Vision without action is illusion---Y.J.

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Post time 2006-11-6 20:00:25 |Display all floors
Originally posted by asbeer at 2006-11-6 17:33
Why not telling him your thought and getting  something to avert his attention from smoke? For example ,make sure there is something in his pocket to eat whenever he wonna smoke


As I grew up , I found my father and I  didn't have more topics to talk....

When I was still a student, I came back to home in summer holidays or winter holidays,
I always had words to talk with my mother, but my father, I don't  know why, I seldom liked to talk with him.
When the holidays  finished, I needed to go back to school,before  I left , he always said a same words to me, work hard in your study.  

I understood, my father is not good at speaking good words and would never say other good words to his daughters.

I had tried, I tried to give chewing gum so that he wouldn't want to smoke;
I tried to give candy to him and told him when he wanted to smoke just had the candy;
I had tried many times to tell him not to smoke a lot  and drink too much,,,,,
All is in vain....     
And, I started to dislike him... from his broken-hearted  daughter.....I don't want to..

When I came back on our National Day, when house just left my father and me,
I really didn't know what could I talk with my father, and as possible as I could to find some topics to talk...
We love our home,though our feet can leave it,yet our hearts can't.

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Post time 2006-11-6 21:31:49 |Display all floors
Dear whitney16 ( daughter of the sea),

Those of us who grew up with an alcoholic father know of a void, an emptiness.

Let him go. gai ta qu, gai ta qu qi

The alcoholic has NO CONTROL of his life. What YOU have is an empty ghost for a father. Sometimes you can see the real father. But...

LET him go.

YOU have a life.  YOU have options. YOU have freedom.

You will find a beautiful life away from alcoholism. You will learn to love the person and hate his illness and alcohol.

Beauty awaits your walk away. So many of us know the ugliness of alcohol.

Let him go!!!
Thus be circuitous and entice the enemy,reaching goals before him: artifice of DEVIATION- SunTze

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Post time 2006-11-6 22:54:58 |Display all floors
You should tell your feeling directly to your father.

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Post time 2006-11-7 11:06:31 |Display all floors
Originally posted by hepcat at 2006-11-6 21:31
Dear whitney16 ( daughter of the sea),

Those of us who grew up with an alcoholic father know of a void, an emptiness.

Let him go. gai ta qu, gai ta qu qi

The alcoholic has NO CONTROL of h ...

Any science research about why a person becomes an alcoholic?
Is there the function of his brain lacking something that he is weak in controlling himself?

How can a person develope strong will against attemption? Giving the same background, why some can and some cannot? Is it something to do with the sustance in the brain that affect personality?
Vision without action is illusion---Y.J.

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