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Australian version: The Story of Squirrel And Grasshopper [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2006-9-27 10:41:04 |Display all floors
                        THE WORLD VERSION
  The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long,  
building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and  plays
the summer away.
Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. -   The shivering
grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out   in  the  cold.

                       THE AUSTRALIAN VERSION
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long,  
building his  house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and  plays the summer away.
Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.
A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference
and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm
and well  fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper,
are cold and starving The ABC shows up to provide live coverage
of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the
squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.
The Australian press informs people that they should be ashamed  that
in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to
suffer so while others have plenty.

The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper  
Housing Commission of Australia demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house.
The  ABC, interrupting a cultural festival special from St Kilda with breaking  news,
broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome".

Bill Shorten rants in an interview with Laurie Oakes that the squirrel got rich off
the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on  the squirrel
to make him pay his "fair share"and increases the  charge for squirrels to enter Melbourne citycentre.

In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the
Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive
to the beginning  of the summer.
The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire
grasshoppers as builders, for the work he was doing on his home
and an additional fine for contempt when he told the  court the grasshopper did not want to work.

The grasshopper is provided with a Housing Commission house,  financial aid to furnish it
and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be  socially mobile.
The squirrel's food is seized and re-distributed  to the  more needy members
of society - in this case the grasshopper.

Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his  newly imposed  
retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building  a new  home.
The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a
temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to  
get  to Australia as they had to share their country of origin with mice.
On  arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Australians'
apparent love of dogs.

The cats had been arrested for the international offence of  hijacking
and attempted bombing but were immediately released becauset he police
fed them  pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody.
Initial moves to make them  return them to their own country were
abandoned because it was  feared  they  would face death by the mice.
The cats devise and start a scam to obtain  money from people's credit cards.

A 60 Minutes special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last  of
the squirrel's food, though spring is still months away, while the Housing  
Commission house he is in, crumbles around him because he
hasn't  bothered to maintain it.
He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is
blamed for the grasshopper's drug "Illness".

The cats seek recompense in the Australian courts for their treatment since arrival in Australia.

The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a
burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released
immediately  because he has been in custody for a few weeks.He is
placed in  the care of  the probation service to monitor and supervise him.

Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched  robbery.

A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost $10 million and
state the obvious, is set up. Additional money is put into funding a drug  rehabilitation scheme
for grasshoppers. Legal aid for lawyers  representing  asylum seekers is increased.
The asylum seeking cats are praised by the  government for enriching Australia's
multicultural diversity and dogs  are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.

The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the
press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the
root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic
experience of  prison.They call for the resignation of a minister.

The cats are paid $1 million each because their rights were infringed
when the government failed to inform them there were mice in Australia.

The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing,
the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on  their  credit cards
to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for  law  and order, and they are told that they
will have to work beyond 65  because of a  shortfall in government funds.

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Post time 2006-9-27 10:52:09 |Display all floors
Sorry wrong forum! But... just have fun reading, friends...
3bowls, would you move it to "Living Abroad" or some where else? Thanks!

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Post time 2006-9-27 11:09:40 |Display all floors
haha,  i like it to be here

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