Author: matthew_aus

Marriage issue with Hunan Girl [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2006-11-12 14:38:50 |Display all floors
Hey will never get me again hell no!

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2006-11-12 19:13:48 |Display all floors
oops...I took the title for "human girl"..being very curious so I checked it out...haha....XDD
sorry but no patience for long stories about marriage...no comments

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Rank: 1

Post time 2007-9-30 23:16:18 |Display all floors
I might be able to help you as my wife is also from hunan, and she is doing almost exactly what your wife is doing.  to make the answer short, you have to make her feel  your love, but not to the point that you will do anything for her.  You have to make her believe that you have other choices (girls).  However, you will stay with her if she behaves well.  Trust me, it works.  more question, email me to
egameplay@yahoo.com

Carlos
www.picoodlee.com

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Post time 2007-10-1 05:57:05 |Display all floors
you have to show her that she needs you more than you need her.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2007-10-2 20:21:04 |Display all floors

Character matters

You sound like a decent person. Character matters and you cannot change a person. I am on my second marraige. My first wife had character flaws. Despite anyything I could do, she would not change. Her attitude was awful. Eventually I gave up caring and we divorced. Before I married a second time, I made sure my wife knew what kind of life we would have, meet my mother (who was still living at the time we married) and all other aspects of life as we know it. I am happy but you have to work at a marraige and not take things for granted.

Good luck to you and I wish you well.

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Rank: 1

Post time 2007-10-4 04:43:09 |Display all floors

A few comments....

Hangul said "Chinese woman are the same in every western country!".   This girl is living in China with her Husband right now so it's probably not what you were thinking.

I agree with what other's have said.  She is either very insecure or superficial and selfish.  You said she really wanted to be a Mom before she turned 30.  Did she want her child growing up in a divided family?  Has she even considered the impact her decisions are going to have on her daughter?

I think she is being unfair and selfish to her daughter.

I know a single mom with a 4 year old daughter who I think married her (EX-) Husband for money.  Turned out he had none and was in fact a wanted criminal.  After that divorce she even had less money than before it and now she makes money by stripping.   She still falls for men who flash the contents of their wallets, though....   I kind of believe in Karma in these types of situations.  What goes around come around and people tend to learn their lessons (the hard way).

Good luck to you (and your daughter!).....

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Rank: 1

Post time 2007-10-5 15:21:05 |Display all floors
I am a Chinese woman and my ex-bf is Dutch. We just broke up. He and I have known each other for 5 years. I can feel you and my ex have a lot in common. You are both very sensitive ppl. I went to psychologist and got the answer why I hurt him sometimes and gave him the feeling that I didn't care about him. Actually, my heart was the opposite, all the time. I hurt him and hurt myself twice as much. I didn't mean to do that.

I was not fighting with him although I seemed to be. As a Chinese women,I was taught to be practical and materialistic. And we know it is not good. My heart has very different point of view upon love from what my mind was taught! Sadly, I always had to fight against myself.  It is very hard to behave properly when I have no peace inside. I did blaimed my ex. Now I know it was just reflection of the war between my mind and my heart. I made him feel very confused but still everytime, he toleranted me. And one day, he didn't do that anymore and left. I felt very regreted and sad.  I think this story might remind you of your wife's thinking. She might even don't know the reasons and feel bad too.  I think these hinks can be helpful.

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