Author: spaceman

Please explain my culture mistake!!! PLEASE!? [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2006-8-19 10:22:09 |Display all floors
"(but I wish I could make love to you 1000 times)"...do u remember this sentence?...it's the fuse that touched off

their little quarrel... he should not have pushed her to make love with him as long as he loves her dearly...that

explains why she got a bit mad at him when hearing him say that....!

of course , the man has his way to show his love, but he should have chosen the way she can accept...!

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2006-8-19 10:24:55 |Display all floors
hi, spaceman,  sorry to hear things about your brother.

I am a Chinese, so i would like to speak out my opinion. I agree there is slight difference between the two cultures but the most important thing is the unerdtanding between two persons.

"I have been dating my Chinese gf for a while (2nd time dating, she broke up with me earlier for my mistakes).  We are not at the making love stage yet....  "


It was only the second time dating , that means you don't know each other well.  That's also the main reason that your gf refused to stay with you overnight.  Most of the Chinese girls are very cautious about being "alone" with male" . If she doesn't trust you to that extent,  she will refuse to accompany you,especailly when  you hope her to spend the weekend wtih you in ur room (even without sex, maybe only your excuse for sex in her eyes).   In China, mothers don't allow their daughters to stay in bf's house overnight before marriage. So please respect this tradition.

" where I am from people who love each other support each other when tragedy falls upon them."

The same in China but in different way.

" I will search in the internet about chinese medicine against blood cancer (sometimes chinese medicine is more useful and effective than west medicine), and let you know and try to find it with you together and mail it to your brother;"
This is the way she tried to help you.  

I can understand how sad and weak in your heart in this situation, and you need support and help , try to tell her what you hope but still respect her dicision.     Love her as before and give her freedom to make dicision.   It's hard for two to understand each other and keep balance even if you are married in the first several years.    Misunderstanding happens everyday, so more communication will help a lot.

You can ask her to come for a few hours to accompany you, i think she will not refuse you. BUt anyhow respect her dicision.

"But I wouldn't follow your words and do what you want -- spend night at your place; for what? what I should do there? what you are asking is like what I saw in the movie, but I am not actor/ player... "  

Your gf is serious in your relationship.  She thought since she is not ur wife, why stay in ur house ?  Some male are playboys, they like to play love games with female. They don't take love so seriously. After sex, they will disappear. That's also why female are more cautious about that.  And she doesn't trust you to that extent.

Hope it helps a bit.

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Post time 2006-8-19 10:30:08 |Display all floors

?

Originally posted by fuzzynuts at 2006-8-19 00:19
Sex is a very natural and normal thing. Even chinese girls think often about sex but the peer pressure not to have sex is the exact opposite of foreigne culture. Thinking about sex doesn't make him ...


what's  your logic?I am sure you are not chinese.

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Post time 2006-8-19 10:31:37 |Display all floors
Originally posted by tennisgirl at 2006-8-19 09:59
she is a little over reacted.

see how  she reacted   " i am not mad, you are mad!

you are already 37 years old, so please act as adult, mature man!"

she can just say no, but no n ...



Yes. i agree.  She can show her love in another way , showing more her concern and comfort him if she loves him.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2006-8-19 10:35:29 |Display all floors
Originally posted by mark069 at 2006-8-19 03:14


I kind of agree with this opinion.  It sounds as though your primary concern is having sex with your gf when it should be your brother's health.  You should have asked her if she could stay wit ...


yes,that's the peoblem lies

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2006-8-19 10:51:36 |Display all floors

2 sides here regarding sex...

So many people here are saying he's wrong for wanting sex... but he said he DIDN'T want sex - he was trying to make it clear to her that even though he wants her, he will refrain. That was his good intention on his part, telling her he won't pressure her.

BUT the thing IS... he shouldn't have mentioned it at all. Saying "you don't have to have sex with me" shows you're thinking about sex. So..... I can see his side, he was trying to make a point that no sex was required, but in doing so he brought up the subject, which made her think he has sex on his mind.

Get it?
I am not rich.  :L

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Post time 2006-8-19 11:01:47 |Display all floors
Originally posted by freakyqi at 2006-8-19 10:51
So many people here are saying he's wrong for wanting sex... but he said he DIDN'T want sex - he was trying to make it clear to her that even though he wants her, he will refrain. That was his good ...


yes,you are cute,we assuredly consider the invite has a strong hint to have sex.

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