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Reply #41 dkscott's post
Hi Dkscott. I live in UK too and a black guy with 2 previous relationships with Chinese girls so you can bet I have my own story to tell. Firstly, it's nice to hear you are happy with your boyfriend. This should provide a source of strength for you to withstand the opposition. How does your black boyfriend take your family's view? I hope he is understanding of your situation as you would seem to be in the middle of it all. Dkscott, I am sure you have heard this before 'Anything good doesn't come easy in life!' - Simple and true statement. If you guys are really serious about your relationship then you will have to face opposition, rejection and other pressures - no two ways about it! so on balance in your mind, I guess you have to decide to fight or give in. If you decide to fight, I hope you will adopt a strategy that would never give your family the moral upper hand. They may seem fiercely against you two now but in their minds, uncertainties and maybes would be propping up too...but they won't want you to know that! As the Chinese saying goes: Through persistence, a stone can be ground down to a needle. So dkscott, have the faith that with time and your good stance with impeccable behaviour, that your family would be won over. Be perceptive regarding any change in attitude or thoughts in one or both parents. I wonder, do you get back up or opposition from your siblings?|
If you guys do make it, think of the good it would be! Making your parents more open-minded subsequent they are better people, Chinese and black people would learn more about each other gradually working towards a truly global community where people can respect each other and ignorance/unfounded fears are lessened, etc ..not to talk of you guys being together.
I think you should be courageous, positive and faithful but don't expect things to be easy. Try to be reasonable when explaining to your parents be resolute but not rude, be calm but unyielding in spirit and also very important, try to understand their fears too - that will help in devising a strategy to deal with them!
Sorry,..hehe..You probably know all this already but i just feel and empathise with you and hoped to give some support! GO FOR IT SISTER :-)