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In #1 & 2 I would at least have said thank you, even if I didn't want the help. It sounds like she is trying very hard (maybe too hard) to fit in and do things for herself. In the US, many people are embarassed if they can't do something for themselves (maybe like losing face). Even some handicapped/disabled people want to do as much as they can on their own and get offended when someone tries to help. |
Haha... maybe next time, imagine in your mind that she is disabled (in a way she is, not speaking the language!) and when she refuses your help or isn't thankful, just know that she is having trouble in her mind accepting her position and may be confused.
#3 - Maybe next time you could ask what her favorite meat is, and say "oh good, I like chicken (or whatever) too, this place has good "___chicken whatever___", do you mind if I order it for us?" or something like that. If she is not yet used to China, shark's fin soup is a VERY weird thing. I don't eat meat, but even when I did, I would have been turned off by the thought of that. Better to stick with chicken, pork, or beef (unless they're vegetarian, then get them tofu, not mushrooms). Or maybe she already tried shark's fin soup and knew she didn't like it, or she knew she doesn't care for seafood in general.
Don't worry, I can see you were trying to be nice. And I don't think the person is a jerk on purpose, I just think she is nervous and trying too hard to fit in, and may be feeling "disabled". (but she still should have said thank you, in my opinion)
[ Last edited by freakyqi at 2006-5-29 12:12 PM ]