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it's really a good point~~~~
i didn't realize this culture shock before~~but anyway, it's a good point. |
after thinking again and again, i'm sure i haven't spoken I LOVE YOU to my mum ever. i don't know what kind of feeling to her now after she did something to me. of couse, i'm sure she loves me; i still remember how she husk the pear for me; i still remember how worried she is when i was sick; i still remember how tired she looked after me for a whole night after i had a fever...........but i'm also sure she is the one who hurts me the most heavily. i don't mean i hate her by saying that, but i do feel sad when i recall her words, most of the time, i can't help crying by recalling her words and what she has done to me. therefore, i don't dare to see her now (my parents got a divorce four years ago). i tried to avoid her, even though it's a very short time to go from my dad's home. one year ago, i visited her on Chinese New Year. i even didn't know what to say. i felt neverous, uncomfortable when being with her. actually, i don't think she was that happy seeing me. the way she talked to me is just like she was talking to a normal friend, not to a daughter. that's why i felt uncomfortatble. at last i didn't stay long there. every time i come back home ( once a year on Chinese New Year), i try not to think about the question: should i visit her? frankly speaking, i want to, but i don't dare to go. i'm afraid of that feeling, i'm afraid of the way she talks to me. i'm afraid of her! it's really a sad thing for the daughter and mum, but that's exactly what we are now......
i call my dad and my uncle/aunt once a week, but i don't have the courage to call my mum. i only called her once when i was a freshman. i still remember the way she spoke, so polite to me......
[ Last edited by cecilia_xiao at 2006-5-5 05:33 PM ]