Author: xilaren

do you prefer passionate love or love under control [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2006-5-4 07:29:49 |Display all floors
I've read in a couple different magazines that 4 months is the amount of time the human body produces a sort of hormone that causes the giddy infatuation that usually typifies the first, well, 4 months of a relationship. After that amount of time, the body stops producing the hormone, and the relationship either sinks or swims...

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Post time 2006-5-4 07:35:21 |Display all floors
Originally posted by sockmonkey at 2006-5-4 07:29
I've read in a couple different magazines that 4 months is the amount of time the human body produces a sort of hormone that causes the giddy infatuation that usually typifies the first, well, 4 mo ...



I see.It may be right.

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Post time 2006-5-4 09:16:14 |Display all floors

passionate, hands down

Originally posted by xilaren at 2006-5-4 07:17

'four months'?How can you be sure about this time limit?


Yes, I've read about it too, from many places, including psychologists, etc. It's a hormonal thing.  For the first 3-4 months you get all those giddy child-like feelings, and/or lustful feelings, but they often fade. We should all know this, so people don't get hurt as much. If we all knew, and expected that a relationship might end after 3-4 months, we could be better prepared in our minds. If it's a person who is very dependent or with very low self-esteem, s/he might feel obliged to keep it going without realizing the feelings are fading. Not good.

I figure no one can know if it's true love for the first 4 months, and personally I'd give it WAY longer than that! LOL....

As for PASSIONATE vs. CONTROL...... hahaha.... Personally I like to FEEL things. I would rather have passion, knowing I will be heartbroken after, than to have nothing at all, or even very little. I have ONE LIFE to live, to my knowledge, so I want to experience all the emotions I can. I just remind myself that ALL those emotions are temporary. We cannot hold onto any of them. If you are buddhist, you know all about non-attachment. Attachment is when suffering occurs, when we think we HAVE something and it is OURS to keep forever. Nothing is ours forever, everything changes. If we keep this in mind, we can enjoy passion and excitement and love, without keeping our expectations up. Then we won't be let down later, because we knew all along it would be temporary.
I like to savor every moment I can.
I am not rich.  :L

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Post time 2006-5-4 16:44:23 |Display all floors
Originally posted by freakyqi at 2006-5-4 09:16


Yes, I've read about it too, from many places, including psychologists, etc. It's a hormonal thing.  For the first 3-4 months you get all those giddy child-like feelings, and/or lustful feeling ...


thank you very much for this explanation.You put things on the right basis.
I agree that we live only onceand we must live our feelings.
I must confess that for me this guy is the oxygen for my life.It is so wonderful when you really love somebody.you become so human.You love him just for what he is.You want to protect him like a child.You become really wild if somebody tries to harm him.This is the first time I have felt like that.I did not expect this love to ever happen to me.I was not suspicious at all.It came without understanding it.There are some people who are able to touch some sensitive cords of you as nobody else does.
I am holding the whole world in my hands because of him.I am not going to stop feeling like that.I will not stop loving him .I will ,only if he behaves in a wiched way to me.I can not love somebody who is dishonest.No way.Now I trust him a lot.

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Post time 2006-5-4 16:52:02 |Display all floors
Originally posted by xilaren at 2006-5-4 16:44


thank you very much for this explanation.You put things on the right basis.
I agree that we live only onceand we must live our feelings.
I must confess that for me this guy is the oxygen for  ...


lucky guy hehe

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Post time 2006-5-4 22:17:25 |Display all floors

Why love in moderation?

Originally posted by xilaren at 2006-5-3 20:29
I have not given the answer to myself which kind of love is preferable for somebody to feel.If you love somebody with passion, which is real love for me, then you feel like touching  the sky ,like  ...



Why love in moderation? Afraid of getting hurt? That's not a very good reason to do a half-auss job in loving..living is a risky business...loving is even worse.

Bear in mind that there are many true loves waiting out there during your whole life time...experience the ultimate and if you hit the rock bottom...just move on...there will be another true love waiting around the corner....feel no regret and despair...enjoy the emotions generated by the process...all intense feelings are different each time...may it be pain, joy, hopelessness, hope, desperation, elation etc...

The truth is.... that's life.

The question is.... do people want a satisfying life or a half-auss life?

We choose, therefore we are!
:)

[ Last edited by thunderbird at 2006-5-4 10:21 PM ]

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Post time 2006-5-5 01:04:23 |Display all floors

re -i made a mistake

Originally posted by thunderbird at 2006-5-4 22:17



Why love in moderation? Afraid of getting hurt? That's not a very good reason to do a half-auss job in loving..living is a risky business...loving is even worse.

Bear in mind that  ...


I have written a few words for thunderbird but I made a mistake and I sent it as a new thread.You can read it if you like and make your comments.

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