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what do you think of cohabitation among old people? [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2006-4-21 23:35:43 |Display all floors
Choosing cohabitation rather than remarriage has been increasingly popular among elderly people? what do you think of that? express your opinion and give some advice to these empty-nesters

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Rank: 4

Post time 2006-4-22 01:50:22 |Display all floors
It depens how old. I can see why a lot of widows and widowers in their 60’s and up decide not to marry. They have already had children, a family and a full life, and they have passed an age where these things are relevant to them, which is the principle reason for marriage. Also, I think there is a sense of dishonoring their deceased spouse if they remarry. Still, people of all ages desire companionship.

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2006-4-22 02:08:17 |Display all floors
Also consider financial benefits or drawbacks. If one gets a pension, or has medical insurance, marriage could affect those things. Some stay single to keep collecting benefits they desperately need, and some marry not so much for love, but for more of an innocent companionship, to get the other's benefits if one has good benefits and the other has little or none. I know an older couple that married so she could have medical insurance, she had little, and her long time friend (whose wife died) had VERY good insurance, so he married her so she could get medical help and they could help each other with daily life. They have fallen in love too, though. It's not totally business-like, I've seen them dance happily and kiss & stuff. But if it wasn't for insurance, they wouldn't have had much reason to get married, they admitted it. They would've just lived together.

They were age 70 & 64 when they got married.
I am not rich.  :L

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2006-4-22 03:51:36 |Display all floors

Try this...........

Stay in your apartment for a few days. Don't have any friends come by. Don't take any phone calls. Just have enough money to survive. If you are lucky you will have a TV to distract the endless quiet hours of nothing. It's like being in prison. If you are lucky you have a pet, but no conversation. You are just waiting to die.

As people age, their needs are not so different from when the family was home. The most important thing for humans is to be needed and to be there for another.

It doesn't matter if they get a room mate. It can be a man or a woman. Respect for the long gone spouse? Would he or she want the survivor to be in a prison of silence waiting to die? I really don't think so.

If you have a grandfather or a parent who is alone, give them a little time, visit them, take them places. Think of all the things they did for you. Get them to socialize and return to a happy life. If they get a boyfriend of girlfriend, congratulate them and serve them a romantic meal.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2006-4-22 03:52:33 |Display all floors
Yeah, I've known a number of older couples who have not married due to financial considerations.  They might lose some benefits as Freaky pointed out above.  Also, both of them are often involved with their children and grandchildren from their earlier marriages and want to provide an inheritance for them.  Merging their finances could get complicated.  Living together without marrying reaps the benefits of companionship and the slightly lower cost of having a single household without the financial penalties or complications.

Also, they were probably both married before, and feel they've "been there, done that".

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Rank: 4

Post time 2006-4-22 08:44:16 |Display all floors
thans for the replies above.
  in my point of view, cohabitation maybe is the best sollution to relieve solitude. conflicts brought along with rermarriage is obious. for those senior citizens, a marriage certificate is just a piece of meaningless paper. they don't need to ensure their relationship by it. what they want is only a companion who has some same hobbies with them and is willing to share his or her old age with one who can understand him or her.

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2006-4-22 08:49:54 |Display all floors

haha,,,

Originally posted by spiritrace at 2006-4-21 22:51
If you have a grandfather or a parent who is alone, give them a little time, visit them, take them places. Think of all the things they did for you. Get them to socialize and return to a happy life. If they get a boyfriend of girlfriend, congratulate them and serve them a romantic meal.


Dear Spiritrace, seems you have been Chinlized...

Because of your wifie and daughters?

  

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