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do all foreigners treat love so causal [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2006-2-11 22:47:48 |Display all floors
I have a foreign friend, he have fallen in love with a Chinese lady.The relationship lasted a year.
but they broke up three weeks ago. He told me he was so hurt, he repeated that many times.I told him to find her if you really love her.he answered 'I won't chase her.'
   chasing somebody ,in foreigners' eyes, must be losed face.
meanwhile, he asked me where he could find the nice lady.
    Yesterday, I just thought he might still had bad mood. He laughed, and he said he was fine.
    wa~~~foreigners can get well so soon. two weeks,or even only one week, they will say ;" I am ok, I'm fine..", then find other girls.
    foreigners just treated love so casual.
   for me, I can't accept, this attitude.
   
   .

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2006-2-11 23:15:16 |Display all floors

Well ...

Please do not making sweeping assumptions and generalisations based on your experience of one person.

Everyone is different and relationships end for different reasons. Do you know why the relationship ended?

Some people do not show their hurt and feelings - others will wear their heart on their sleeves.

Don't make a judgement of all foreigners based on one incident.
Take me down to the paradise city, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2006-2-12 01:14:45 |Display all floors
I don't think the example sounds that casual. A year-long relationship is impressive. I wouldn't be surprised if your foreign friend truly was hurt, and went to find another girl to get over the one who had just left him. I would bet he just wanted some physical attention. In general, I also think guys tend to bottle up their emotions more and not show how much they hurt.

I agree with what tmphgt said, too--don't generalize based on one story. Plenty of people from other countries take love very seriously--me and my boyfriend, for example.

To turn the question around, why do so many Chinese girls take love so seriously? Or is it even love? I read so many stories on here of Chinese girls who date a guy for a month, then the guy breaks up with them, and they're inconsolable. They're convinced it was love, that he was so perfect, and so on... but it was only a month! Real love almost never shows up in such a short amount of time--it takes work. And why does every relationship instantly have to be so heavy and long-term? What's wrong with having a few fun, casual dates, realizing it won't work, and parting ways in a friendly manner?

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2006-2-12 03:22:48 |Display all floors
I don't think he was really ok in a week or two if he was in love for a year. Maybe he was just trying to feel ok for that moment, or maybe he was trying hard not to feel the pain or to show his pain.

A lot of western men are given messages as they grow up that men shouldn't cry, men should be tough. As my dad would say if I hurt myself or was sick, "Walk it off!"... and I'm a girl! What that phrase means is, stop complaining, get up and continue on, get over it.

Sometimes that atitude can be hurtful, it was as if my pain was not important. I can only imagine it must be much worse being a man, hearing that more often. Men should be allowed to feel and show whatever emotions they want! As a woman, I would love to see a man cry.... wait, that didn't come out right.... I mean, I would be very happy to see a man not hiding his feelings, and I would be more likely to like him even more if I saw that.
I am not rich.  :L

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Rank: 4

Post time 2006-2-12 03:30:05 |Display all floors
do all Chinese take love seriously???

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Rank: 4

Post time 2006-2-12 04:47:59 |Display all floors
A year? That's pretty good.

I've known marriages that lasted a lot shorter than that.
"扶摇万重兮,
放我麒麟冲荡。
清清渭水兮,
舞我手中霓裳。 "

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Post time 2006-2-12 18:02:52 |Display all floors

Verbal diharehha is smelly

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