Author: spiritrace

An interesting subject came up in our house tonight....... [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2005-12-7 13:24:27 |Display all floors

I guess I am on the outside looking in on some of these culture issues.

I'm a  good cook, but so is my wife. We often both cook at the same time. I will cook American Western and she will cook Hot and spicy Sichuan. Sometimes I will add some fusion mixing Chinese and American. Since my wife and daughter have come to the U.S. we all have gained about 10 to 20 pounds. We really eat well in this house. I have Chinese and American friends who come to visit and I always cook for all of them. Let my wife enjoy visiting. Now what has happened is that I have been teaching both Americans and Chinese men, women and teens how to cook the way I do. I think cooking is an important part of life that everyone should understand. There are many examples when a man, father, husband should be able to cook good healthy meals. When momma is in the hospital and the children are hungry, on the road, in the wilderness, when there are too many people to cook for and she needs help.  
   I have a Chinese lady friend who I am teaching Chinese cooking. She could not boil water until she met me. Now she is cooking all kinds of food. She never learned!
   Some of my children's (now adults) best memories are all the good meals I cooked for them. They constantly ask me for recipes of how I made this or that. I have three grown daughters and one grown son. They all ask how to..........
   When I was in the military I visited many countries and learned cooking from each country I went to. (My biggest complaint is about all the secret ingredients for lamb from the Greek families that they will not give to me)
   The list of good cooking countries in my book are Greek, Chinese, Spanish, Carribean, and of course American Cajun, the Virginias, some Texas and some South West American. There are some great South American recipes. India has some good recipes. but sometimes the spices are difficult to find.
   The bottom line? I think it is important for anyone to be able to cook good healthy food. But if a family wants to have divisions of responsibilities then it should be balanced. A little help in clean up is nice.

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2005-12-8 03:21:45 |Display all floors


I like this:
If I cook, he does the dishes. If he cooks, I'll gladly do them.
If we both cook together, we both cleanup.

I LOVE Indian food. There are lots of minorities near me, and two Indian grocery stores within 20 minutes. You can buy big bags of spices for quite cheap. There are also several Asian food stores, a tiny Phillipino shop, plenty of Mexican/Hispanic stores... that's one thing I'd miss if/when I move away. The variety.

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2005-12-8 08:36:44 |Display all floors

Freaky, you have discovered one of the secrets of lie on earth as we know it.

Now, is there room in your neighborhood for three people? A Chinese lady who uses a lot of hot peppers and garlic, a daughter who eats like 6 Marine grunts and a man willing to try (almost anything) and enjoys the best of all worlds..........

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2005-12-8 16:24:50 |Display all floors

... the master of the house

Hi, spiritrace,

As for your question: What is the master of the house and what is expected of the master of the house, i would like to say something...

Master of the house:  

Most women think that husbands should take more resposiblity in everything , esp. making big decisions, for example buying a house, moving to work in another city, raising children, educating the children. ( now more and more  couples discuss these together and reach an agreement . Vise versa,  some wives control and decide everything. ) . Women hopes men can share their happiness as well as sadness.  They hope a cosy family. You know women are more sensitive and emotional.

Money is another problem.  In the old days, many women had no income . They had to rely on their husbands. So the husbands really the " Master " , controlled everything. But now that's different....more and more female are well-educated and highly paid.  In this situation, wives give the tittle "Master", it only means that she respecets you, hoping you will be proud of the family.

From your posts, i can see you have your own way of  dealing the family affairs. You are happy living in China. BUt the cultural difference /habbits need some time to understand......    You can share your ideas with  your wife and try to think it on her side. She also needs time to your way.


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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2005-12-8 16:43:32 |Display all floors

about "Cook"

My example :

I'm a local Chinese woman.  As for your question about Chinese men in cooking when married , here is my example.

My husband enjoys cooking . He can cook better than me ( i can also cook well).  I often help do some preparation( washing vegetavles...) and clean-up.   

Those men who enjoy cooking always think they are the chief in the family. so whenever invite friends at home for dinner, he likes to show up.

But he hates to wash dishes, then i can do it.    He also likes to keep the house tidy and clean, enjoys planting some  small  trees at home.

i saw some men enjoy doing this kind of houseswork.  i don't know if i can say most of , but really some of them enjoy cooking.

But yes. some men are very lazy...., they don't help anything....

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2005-12-9 02:07:49 |Display all floors

Heart...... I think a good marriage is a shared responsibility

The concept of two people joining forces to become one (a family) is how it should work. In our family our daughter gets the most consideration for what is important. In China she was not treated well but here she is like a beautiful garden growing freely in all ways. Her greatest potential is coming out. We have allowed her to learn in school and at home. It is amazing how different she is here in the U.S. She accepts her responsibilities and explores more knowledge. I am very happy to see that she is becoming what she is today.
    If I had been the stern tough guy father she would not have blossomed like a beautiful flower. My wife is very happy with how I treat her and how her daughter has changed.
   With other decisions I have to make most of them. Culture, laws, and the complexity of American society and the rules be abide by are very complex compared to how my wife lived in China. Her new freedoms also come with responsibility. It is a different world for both of them.
   Some of the pressures on my wife and daughter come from actually having to make decisions on their own. This is also a new thing to them...
   When we are cooking for friends I usually start washing up while we are cooking. It saves time after the meal. And if we are both cooking frees up some of the cook ware.  When my wife came here there was nothing she had to buy for her cooking styles. I had it all. Since I have been cooking for 50 years, I find those things I like best but rarely throw any cooking equipment away. I have enough to open a big restaurant. I plan to make the kitchen twice the size next year. Half will be for my wife and half will be for me. One side that faces the sun will be for growing hot peppers spices and other vegetables inside during the winter. It will be perfect for both of us.

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Rank: 2

Post time 2005-12-9 06:03:17 |Display all floors

In a Lesbian house....

The Master is the one with the moustache

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