Author: freelance101

恭请各路好手翻译短文(131字),现谢谢啦! [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 1

Post time 2005-10-25 19:17:39 |Display all floors

For advice

rutong, thank you very much.
It's really my luck to be here and having a good surprise just by dint of a random net search. 來到這裡,雖說早知一山還有一山高,不過這裡的山,對小弟來說,委實是太高了。以下是小弟當時對第一句翻譯的構想,請先生指點哪處是關鍵性地出了錯,不勝感謝。

《關於 The less justified a man is in claiming excellence for his own self, the more ready he is to claim all excellence for his nation, his religion, his race or his holy cause. A man is likely to mind his own business when it is worth minding.When it is not, he takes his mind off his own meaningless affairs by minding other people's business .一句的中譯提要分析》

下半句中 "mind" 一字,作為動詞而又跟business連在一起用的時候,往往會在理解上產生錯覺,因為有句口語是: mind your own business --- 別多管閒事。所以一見到 business 的時候,一下子就想到"管閒事";mind = 管沒錯,但只是"管"事,並沒有管"閒"事的意思,mind 在字典的定義上,還解作"關心"。中文的"你不管我啦?"就等於"你不關心我啦"。 因此:

A man is likely to mind his own business when it is worth minding.
人往往關心自己那些值得關心的(重要的)事情。

When it is not, he takes his mind off his own meaningless affairs by minding other people's business
否則,(當沒有值得自己關心的事的時候),才會轉而去關心其他人的事。

上面兩點,就是大多數人的共通點 ----- 《人往往是先顧己而後及人》。

如果一個人能夠"超脫"這個共通點,就不是一般人;他的"excellence" 在被"justified"(被判斷)就不單(less)在於"his own self", 而是(more ready)宏觀地及於"his nation, his religion, his race or his holy cause"。 那麼,整個句子才變得前後呼應。

"holy cause" 一詞中,
holy 通常解作 神聖的 至善的等等, 而 cause 解作 原因, 導致某事發生的人或事, 動機, 理由, 根據, 目標, 理想, 事業
『一種神聖的,至善的目標,理想』,我把它譯成『崇高理念』。 經過中文化後的整個句子,就如下:

The less justified a man is in claiming excellence for his own self, the more ready he is to claim all excellence for his nation, his religion, his race or his holy cause. A man is likely to mind his own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, he takes his mind off his own meaningless affairs by minding other people's business.

人往往是先顧己而後及人。要肯定一個人的成就,不能單憑其個人修為,還要看他對國家民族宗教或其崇高理念的整體表現。

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BTW, we are on  Big-5 platforms and the output are Trandional Chinese Characters. :)

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Post time 2005-10-25 22:20:28 |Display all floors

The less justified a man is in claiming excellence

Try:

The less justified a man is in claiming excellence for his own self, the more ready he is to claim all excellence for his nation, his religion, his race or his holy cause.
当一个人越是无法为自身完美辩护时,越是坚持自己的国家,宗教,种族或理想是至善至美的。
A man is likely to mind his own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, he takes his mind off his own meaningless affairs by minding other people's business.
当一个人认为自身的追求是有意义时,自然心有旁骛,否则,他会因无聊而多管他人的閒事。
我的中文不好,方家莫笑。

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Post time 2005-10-26 01:09:09 |Display all floors

a literal translation may be better

Nature’s gifts to human being, rich or poor, are even. So people deeply depend on nature in the same way, especially in country. For thousands of years, people have lived their lives in the unchanged way. They plant crops and grapes, brew wines and drink wines, feed cows and milk cows, hoe up weeds and plant flowers, go to church at weekends and utter prayers, play violins at squares on fesitvals, dancing and singing. Past garden city is still today’s home and warmth. So, every place has its own legend. Then the speed of wind slows down.

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Post time 2005-10-27 12:13:16 |Display all floors

敬請指教

imnoabrainer,I appreciate your help in "The less justified a man is in claiming excellence" !

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ruotong figured 『大自然對於人的恩賜.....』as 《句子結構也很洋化》,I do agree on this count. It might be originated from English. I went through
divers versions translated here, they are marvellous.  鑒於珠玉在前,I can but make it in a "funny" way, as a "cracker" with his reverse engine, a fuzzy translation with 56 Chinese characters. 小弟斤兩有限,欣然恭候指正。

<<in acknowledgment of hy2004's version>>

The mother nature gifts every single person ,how matter he's poor or rich with out any bias.for which we have been deeply reliant on her .

Especially ,In countrysides,the life styles survie through thousands of years.people grow crops and grapes,vintage and then drink,people keep cows for milk.people cut off grass to grow flowers;people attend churche on weekends and make their prays
On town squares of festivals ,people playing instuments,dancing,singing

the gardens and fileds of the old days are still the nice and cozy homes of today.Each place boasts of its own legendary .Each person are familiar with the wind of his place

福澤無分富與貧  蒼茫大地綠如茵
農牧悠悠傳千載  葡萄甫釀醉三分
庭前薊草群芳艷  鈞天樂舞謝神恩
東風伴我留佳話  萬古田園日日新

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