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Chinese society has been placing a large amount of value of a bride's virginity |
till the wedding day. Some argue this has a lot to do with the feudalism that ha
s been ruling Chinese society for thousands of years, while some others advocate
women should be brave enough to break this by standing up to take pre-marital s
ex as males do, saying if all of the females do this, the reality will leave no
space for males to be pricky in issue relating virginity.
To me, this is a complex issue.I won't simply nod to any of the aboves.
I am open to hear others' opinion, while holding my own as the following:
From a medical point of view, virginity is not in existence from the moment you
think of sex in your brain. Who among us dare to say that he or she has never ha
d fantasies on this?
So virginity is now left at an awkward position: To keep or not to keep? ---Now
we are discussing under nonmedical premise I suppose. Cos there is probably no o
ne who can qualify the medical definition of virgin in their 20s.
The tendency in both Korea and Japan has been noticed: Women are willing to spen
d their "first night" with someone they do not love. While this phenomenon is st
range in us bystanders eyes, their explanation may be even more strange: It is b
ecause they do not get happiness but pain the first time, which makes them give
it to someone they do not have affection with. So this can be called a "pain-get
Sure the technology today has advanced enough to prevent them from pregnancy in
the above cases, and if they are cautious enough and armed with some medical kno
wledge, they should not be easily trapped in STD (sex transmitted diseases) eith
What I am hoping to highlight here is the meaning of virginity in sense of psych
ology. It is more than certain that there are people who insist love and sex ar
e two different matters, and so are love and marriage. But personally I so much
would like to experience the blended happiness of them all. All of them should b
e mixed into one, named marriage for me. And if not, I'd choose not to experienc
e it, no matter how old I am.
I am more than grateful that my educational experience has prepared me for an in
dependent life, in which there is no necessity for a marriage to seek financial
security. Under this premise, the freedom to choose a kid of life is guaranteed.
Sex should be easy, with the rate among college student 30% or higher who has ha
d it unwed.
Sex is hard, with it unproperly had, chances of STD, AIDS, and other transmitted
dieases are brought together. And above all, the most profound impact, named th
e psychological impact on one's whole life time. I only hope everyone of those w
ho takes it for fun could have a chance to go into marriage consultation medical
center and intern there for a while, then they can see how many out of the crow
ds are now paying heavy price for the mend of psychological impact resulted from
an unproper sex life before their marriage, and what price they are now paying
for the indefference they have towards their current spouse. It could be removed
, though, given the medical progress. But this should never be expected to be ea
sy and why bother to pay the price while it is not necessary?
Sex is also divine. It brings two souls even closer than expected. And although
I have not experieced this, I hold it to be self-evident. (No one has to kill an
other to know killing is illegal:))
Conservative? Maybe in a way I am. So what do you think?