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I had exactly the same experience :-) :-) :-)
I had exactly the same experience :-) :-) :-)|
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, Sorry for that, I had the same experience, and it didn’t end well, but I just want to laugh a little bit.
Poor you, read this to the end, it is long I know, I hope you learn a lesion her.
This was my experience:
She is 26 or 27 (hell, I still don’t know her birthday)
I am 30 soon, 31
Her mom talks to her ever day, if not using the internet, the cell phone will ring, and she will ask her what is she doing at 11PM outside? :-) :-)
I live in North America; and she came here 2 years ago.
I know her since a year.
We went out so many times, we traveled, we went to the movies, and once she was in my apartment ;-)
The maximum that I was able to get in one year was a second base ;-) after so long in the relationship, for a shot time only :-)
She is a bit less that 160CM, I am 180; she is Chinese, I am not :-)
I understand 5 languages, and speak 3 of them fluently; she thinks that she speak English :-)
After a year in the relationship, she seams to love me, with an accuracy of 95% :-) :-) :-) but she is not showing it.
I turn her on, I can see it, well, the people around us can see it too :-) , and she is still showing that she is not interested.
Nothing in our relationship is direct, I was attracted to her from the first time I’ve seen her, and I did the dating by the book as they say!!!
She is not beautiful by the way (but not ugly, a regular girl), hell I have no idea why I am attracted to her.
She does not know how to ware makeup, her dress style is ….. You guess.
So here is how the dating went:
Break the ice, hell, took 3 months.
Then get her smiling on my jokes, unleash the funny girl in her, took time too, and many of my friends helped in that, just so she feel relaxed.
At one point, she started flirting, oh god, finally :-) it took me + 3 friends helping secretly, 4 months around her, was not easy.
Until now, I have no clue about Chinese traditions, I thought something is wrong with her, flirting but shy :-) , I wish I was able to find this site a year a go, now is too late, but anyway.
Now she flirts with me as we are lovers; And when we argue, it’s like a husband and wife :-)
But alone she does not seam comfortable, I guess she is used to flirt with me in a public environment.
She never tells you what she wants, but she will make sure you know that there is something wrong, or she wants something.
The problem is: “I don’t have a crystal ball”!!!!!!
Clues, clues, and clues, hell it is all clues.
My math abilities increased, I guess my IQ is skyrocketing by now :-) , realizing what she wants is like solving a multidimensional algorithm.
It took time until she started drinking; she looks very cute after a glass of wine; especially her red face.
I was doing everything to keep her happy, and she was doing everything not to answer any relationship related question, she is shy!!!
At one point I give up, told myself, what the hell, I’ll find a real girlfriend, a hot Russian, a cute German, or a sexy French ;-) , and I did.
She will realize that, and started flirting with me, I love her, so I will end the relationship that I just started; but then she will just stop flirting :-) :-) :-) :-)
Did it 5 times! I ended at least 5 possible relationships!
We went out to trips, we went to the movies, we went to restaurants, we had tons of good time, but she still will not talk about relationship.
And going out must be done using clues, you must ask her out but not ask her out :-) , or she will simply not say yes or no; hell, after a year I am so good at it, was not easy to learn.
Touching her is limited, I can see her turned on, I can notice her heavy breathing, and the look at her face, she is turned on, but she will not let you do much, and will not tell you why :-)
I was so frustrated so many times, I thought there is something wrong with me, she likes me and then she does not, she wants to talk to me and she does not, she wants to go out and she does not, ….
I also though that there is something wrong with her, like painful past, or some kind of abuse, until later in the relationship I discovered that she is just a normal girl.
I end up so frustrated that I ended the relationship, it was not a happy ending, and now it has been 2 months, and it is hard to get over it!
I had depression, felt bad, and thought there is something wrong with me, and I found this BBS, and I finally have answer to my questions, all of them :-)
My income is high, so one day I opened the yellow pages on the companions directory, and customized the girl that I wanted on the phone, and hours later, she was at the door, original Chinese, what more that what I wanted, the rest is use your imagination ….. ;-)
And do you know, it realized there is nothing better than a European girl, they are smarter, they will tell you what they want, they are sexier, even without markup, they are active, they simply know what they want.
And do you know what, when you are in the second base with a European girl, you will defiantly find the second base, with a Chinese girlfriend, it may take you some time to find it :-)
Remember, the nice and shy girl will become something else completely different once the ice brakes, you will immediately see the spoiled unhappy, unsatisfied, and 24 hours complaining Chinese girl.
If still interested, this is what you should do:
1- Stop talking to her, it is pointless, imaging this, you are asking a TV to change the channel, instead of going to the person with the remote control, mom ;-)
2- Get her mom number, ask her directly, usually they have emails, and write to her mom, you have nothing to loose.
3- You don’t need her approval to talk to her mom! Remember that, this will undermine her; you just show her that you have the power to control her once (using mom), and everything will change.
4- Thy will refuse you, a partially racist society, what can you do, but never the less, keep the good attitude, they need time to get used to you.
5- Keep it professional, as professional as possible, in 3 months her mom will accept you.
6- Once this happen, congratulations, you’ve got yourself a copy of the remote control ;-)
7- Be careful with the remote control, it becomes functional by time (another 3 to 6 month), imaging it empty, and the buttons are growing :-)
8- Once it is fully functional, who cares about getting her flowers anyway, she will get flowers, only if she deserves them!
After all, ask yourself this question: is it worth it?
It’s the university man, and you are in Japan! Go and have some fun, Japanese girls look the same, smile all the time, they know how to dress, how to ware makeup, and love having fun :-) I wish I was 22 again but this time in Japan ;-)
Have fun man, good luck.