Views: 5940|Replies: 18

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Rank: 4

Post time 2005-8-3 23:49:41 |Display all floors

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Rank: 4

Post time 2005-8-4 02:05:04 |Display all floors

you're pathetic and don't deserve any teaching from anybody

another chinese bitch after an ugly, fat, old laowai who divorced his wife after he used her when she got old and ugly

them western bitches grow old and wrinkle very fast to be dumped

LOL

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2005-8-4 07:53:46 |Display all floors

Dear Alpineplant

After reading your stories, I really feel concerned for you. I am not a believer of internet romance. But because I don't know you and him and the relationship of you two, I withhold my judgment on that aspect. Here are some general views of mine about your situation.
First of all, if it doesn't feel right, then it is not right. I think someone before me already reminded you that it is very different situation for you vs. his in this relationship. You have to give up a lot more than he has to. In fact, he has only advantage to gain. It works only if you love him enough to not worry about gaining or loosing. But I don't see that in you. The reason you keep asking for advice is because you care very much about what it is for you in this relationship.
Second, you made it very clear to him that you will not make love to him during his visit to you later this year. I don't know I should applaud for your strong stand against pre-marital sex or feel sorry for both of you. Sex is a very important factor that makes a relationship work, especially for you two cause you don't even have a chance to physically touch each other. He is old enough to understand that. I guess that's why he is disappointed. I understand why you insist this point to him because you are a girl with virtues. But does he think it is a virtue that worth him to respect your choice? Obviously not. You two seem to be at two ends of the spectrum. One of you has to give up if you two want this to work.
Third, about the life ahead of you in another country, nobody can tell you whether is better or worse than the one you have in China. You are the person to determine that. In your post, you describe how the life would be ahead of you. I have to wonder where you get this idea. Did he tell you? So he drew the picture, and then put you into the character he creates. And you go along with it? You seem to be an independent and well-educated woman from your story. You should know that you marry somebody is because you love him and want to be with him. It doesn't mean that you give-up the right to live your life.
Last, about being a step Mom of his kids. I can't tell you much about this since I don't have any kids. But I know in the western society, 17 years old is almost an adult and they should be old enough to understand their parents' choice. I wouldn't worry about them too much. The one I would worry about is your own kids if you will have any with him. Personally I have seen kids experience lots of difficulties growing up with older parents, not to mention that you don't even have first hand experience of how to grow up in the west.
Sum it up: it is not easy! If you think financial stability can trump all the disadvantages, I can tell you are wrong. But love can conquer anything. And I believe you are a brave girl. No matter where you are, you can always pursue a good life for yourself.
Love is foolish and blind. If you want to go for your love, don't try to be smart and clear about everything.
No matter what your choice would be, don't lost yourself.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2005-8-4 13:11:09 |Display all floors

thanks a great deal! thanks for being with me and thanks for ur insight.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2005-8-4 13:12:53 |Display all floors

Witty,though i hate to say this. i would politely suggest u collect ur act and g

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2005-8-4 17:23:08 |Display all floors

Hmmm ...

Some more ideas and questions for you Alpineplant ...

What do you think this man wants? Why is he looking for a relationship with somebody who is not much older than his own children? Does he want control over you (through money and age)? Is his insecure about making relationships within his own age group?

Will his children respect you? You are 25 and his youngest daughter is 17 so you are in the same age group as his children.

If he comes to China then of course he should expect separate accommodation! You have not even met yet so your first days should be like a friendship. From there you can understand and decide whether a relationship can be built.

Sex before marriage is a rather awkward topic. Some people believe that there should be no sex before marriage however another view is that you should know a person fully before marriage if you are going to commit the rest of your life to them.

With respect to this “online man” from the US, I would say that separate accommodation is a very wise judgement.

As I mentioned before, I don’t believe that you can love this man until you meet him and get to know him properly.

Do you feel that this will be an equal relationship or is this man just looking for a young wife for his own pleasures and to look after his children?

At 25, you have your whole life ahead of you. Do you want to risk everything on this man?

Just be careful Alpineplant.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2005-8-4 18:44:03 |Display all floors

this slut

didn't learn from ariane (not marianne)

a white worshipping slut who chatted with an american guy for half a year
but then it was him who invited his granny pap to come to shanghai and landed on the slut in bed the first night in town!
then she admits he disappeared!

she called this *love*

LOL

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