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July 24th, 2005|
I went back to my mother school this afternoon, knowing I was not really able to handle myself to concentrate on study any more. I went to visit an old-time friend known from freshman days.
Had a good time there.
It was where I started my freshman days and about which the precious memories can never be wiped out by the passing of time. I got one of my bachelor's there in one year's time. (I am a double degree in both BA and BSC)
If not for this man on mind, my future will be much more clear. Chances are there that I may get a job with that prestigious school even though I am not qualified with my MD. The dean knows me pretty well and was willing to give me a try. And I have the confidence to merit her trust in me.
Teaching is where my great passion lies. And I do not get this answer without efforts. I have spent tiem and energy carefully weighing my personal interst and ability and the posibbilities of what I can do many times before I came to this.
The income will be handsome, though not as much as what I am able to get with a business company. By the way, I have not had the plan to earn much. Life is certainly more than merely earning money. I wish enough time on my own to do reading and writing and plants-managing if I can. I am a special type and I have come to realise and what's more, accept it.
Then I am going to leave this dream? Then I am going to leave this university teaching position?
I also have realised my degree would probably be invalid in the US. And I have spent seven years on it. A BA, a BSC, and a MD. My parents have been trying very hard to put me through all these years despite the humble background. My heart aches at this.
If there is any field that makes career choice for me, business would be at the last of the list. Or it can be put into this way: I am a born business loser. Too kind, and too sensitive, too keen to other people's needs rather than of my own.
I still love him, but I also hope there can be enough time for me to know more about this guy. All of you are right. There are great risks involved. And by that I do not mean being dumped or being forced into the undersociety. No, my gut tells me to trust this guy. But by that what I intended to say was I am really kind of reluctant to give up my career plan. I owe lots and lots of people in all these years in college, who have supported me, guided me, helped me without any hesitaion. I kind of feel that I am letting down of them and letting go of my dreams.
Thoug he is able to fulfill my dream of a happy family.
I cannot help to be concerned.