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First let me say, I’m impressed, and I’m not one to be impressed easily. Your English skill is definitely a cut above the rest. And if what you said were true, then you certainly would have gotten an approving nod from me if we met in real life. Well done! ^^|
In some ways, you remind me of myself 10 years ago, young, smart, with a healthy sense of pride that was warranted by my abilities. But while I had the intelligence, I couldn’t say the same for wisdom. I did grow out of it eventually, but looking back I see lots of things I had done right, but so are many things that laid in ruin because of me. Regret is the one feeling that never eases over time.
I was rebellious when I was young. Even though I understood the benevolent reasons behind my parents’ actions, I just couldn’t accept them. I fought them so often that when I was 16, I almost came to blows with my father in the dining room – I was too headstrong, and too much in love. And my parents objected, just like yours. Logical? Yes. Compassionate? Yes, but not in the way I wanted. Of course, like every teenager, I felt that I was more grown up than my parents gave me credit for. I used all sorts of tricks to go out behind their backs. Of course, just as they predicted, the relationship didn’t work out in the end. Fortunately, it only cost me a heartbreak and a gash in my left palm. But it could have been worse. Just a cautionary tale. Your parents are extreme, but it’s out of good intensions.
You asked what you could do to win their trust. You could win their trust by showing understanding and willingness to work with them. When two sides adopt uncompromising positions, arguments achieve nothing other than making both sides more extreme, leaving no hopes to a reasonable solution.
When I and two other teammates won medals in the 1993 Science Olympiad, my high school held a little ceremony one evening. When I was given the opportunity to stand and be recognized, I acknowledge in front of everyone what my parents had done for me. I thanked them for all the extra homework, all the weekend classes, and the sacrifices they made so I could have this day. I saw my mother crying, and my father was also watery eyed. And for that gesture of understanding and maturity, my father later gave me the keys to his car. It was an 8 years old Chevy Nova but still it was my first car. Yay! ^^ I was allowed to go out as long I got back by 11 PM. And he never stonewalled me like he used to any more. We still argued, but usually he gave me some room to choose. For example, he didn’t pick universities for me, and let me drive across the country to attend UT-Austin.
When was the last time you sat down and had a serious talk with your parents, one that didn’t end up arguing? To address their concerns, first you need a good understanding why they are doing this. Next time, ask them why they so afraid of you seeing guys? Why do they have so little confidence in your ability to make the right choice? Whatever they say, don’t get mad, keep on reminding yourself that they are just trying to help/protect you. You don’t have to agree, and you probably won’t, but getting mad and start arguing only reinforce their mistrust of you.
Don’t present your answers and arguments right away. Go back to your room, and think about it. Write down the issues, what you think is a good solution, then back it up with logic and good reasons. When your parents are in a good mood, present your proposal. If the talk stalemates, don’t push it. Go back and come up with an alternative proposal. Like you said, before you achieved financial independence, you do not have the advantage in term of power. At best, a heated exchange leaves you stuck with the same problems, but even less hopes of resolving them. At worst, you break with your parents or run away from home, only to find out just how cruel the real world can be. Don’t get me wrong, you have the right to be independent and free, but every right comes with a cost. To exercise your right, you must be willing to pay that cost. And mortgaging your future is rarely a smart move.
Now, after reading all that, you might think that I’m a stuffy old dinosaur. LOL, I hope not, I’m only 29. ^^ So don’t get me wrong, I agree with you. I do think that your parents are too strict, and they should give you more freedom to grow on more than just an academic level. You have my respect for your ability to do well in school, so I think you can manage school and a light relationship or two. Just no more fantasies about having sex with a bunch of guys or being a prostitute, please, that kind of freaks me out. ^^ Anyway, I think the burden of proof, to demonstrate maturity and the abilities to make the right decisions, lies with you. Just be diplomatic and flexible when you talk about it with your parents. ^^ I’m sure they are not heartless. They probably just need to be convinced in the right way. Show some understanding, work with them, and be willing to make some compromises. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised. :)