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etiquette clues for foreigners to attend banquets in China [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2004-11-10 22:05:22 |Display all floors
You shouldn’t wear slippers or short pants in summer, let alone in winter, to attend formal banquets in China, since this is considered impolite unless you are on the beach.

It’s ok you can not use chopsticks , ask the waiter to give you a fork and knife. If your drop your knife, don’t pick it off the floor, get new ones. If you happen to be good at chopstick, Chinese will be much impressive on you.

Offer to let the Chinese boss(or host) taste the new dish first, this almost means you give him a chance to cut the ribbon at an opening ceremony.

Don't get offended by loud burping. This is normal in China, ignore it or join in for a duet.

Don’t feel surprised when people slurp loudly , it is common , neglect it or slurp soup loudly too .

No need to ask the ladies whether you are allowed to smoke, see Chinese men , they don’t do this. Try to open a window early on because your suit may be ruined by the heavy smoke in the air from other Chinese smokers. If a Chinese female who hates secondhand smoke has opened the window for you, thank her even though she might not understand you.

While eating, it’s acceptable that you stare at a very pretty lady. You may praise how delicious the Tofu on the table is to please your Chinese participators, but don’t speak to this lady how you love Tofu , especially those white and soft Tofu unless you want to get slapped.

Never drink even a sip of your drink alone. This is not only bad but stupid since you are only adding to your total alcohol intake without dragging somebody down with you.

If you want to avoid Gan Bei , bottom up your wine ( here wine is white lightning), politely, you may claim medical reasons for not drinking but this is wimpy and will likely kill any minuscule chances you have of making money . Another choice is to sincerely ask Chinese boss(or host) to join in when others want to Gan Bei with you, because they generally don’t want their boss to drink too much. Or you may play some tricks but don’t let the cat out of the bag. Do you have a good fake drinking scam working?

Don’t forget to express your thanks for Chinese for the wonderful dinner even if the dishes are not to your taste, never let them know you will have a room food service after you will return your hotel.

At last, when the banquet is over, don’t join those people who fight over who is going to pay the bill, it’s always the host should do it.

Hopefully this will be a bit helpful for those foreigners who will visit China.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-11-11 02:35:01 |Display all floors

Why?

<<While eating, it’s acceptable that you stare at a very pretty lady. You may praise how delicious the Tofu on the table is to please your Chinese participators, but don’t speak to this lady how you love Tofu , especially those white and soft Tofu unless you want to get slapped.>>
What does the Tofu (doufu) connote?

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2004-11-11 02:40:09 |Display all floors

mmm

Why did learn English you stupid racist thing?

"You shouldn’t wear slipper or short pants in summer, let alone in winter, to attend banquets in China, since this is considered impolite unless you are on the beach."

Yeah, guess what, the average laowai has a million of these things  and we don't care after a while.  In fact, we'd rather be at home watching DVDs than having a banquet with you so don't expect us to care what we look like.  

"It’s ok you can not use chopsticks , ask the waiter to give your fork and knife."

If we've been in your country longer than 10 mins we can use them as good as you.  Don't you dare ask the waiter for a knife and fork without our permission you silly airhead.  

"If your drop your knife, don’t pick it off the floor, get new ones."

As if you have a clue what to do with a knife and fork unless you're one of the 0.00001% of Chinese who has left China.  Don't dare to preach what to do with a knife and fork when you yourself can't use them.  As for hygeine, the only restaurants in China that have soap in the toilets are ones controlled by Westerners.  

"If you happen to be good at chopstick, Chinese will be much impressive on you."

Yeah, when you spit on the floor and pick your nose with your knuckle we'll be 'much impressive on you' too.   

"You may praise how delicious the Tofu on the table is to please your Chinese participators, but don’t speak to this lady how you love Tofu , especially those white and soft Tofu unless you want to get slapped."

Listen, if I'm forced to sit next to you idiots for longer than five seconds then I can hit on all the women I like, understand?  

"If you want to avoid Gan Bei , bottom up your wine, politely, you may claim medical reasons for not drinking but this is wimpy and will likely kill any minuscule chances you have of making money ."

We're genetically better at drinking than you because we discovered alcohol about a thousand years before you did.  Beer is only in China because the Germans conquered Tsingtao.   When you're so drunk that you're singing about how great China is we're flirting with your wife, who is actually really enjoying it...  

"At last, when the banquet is over, don’t join those people who fight over who is going to pay the bill, it’s always the host should do it."

Why would we want to pay for a banquet we never wanted to attend in the first place?  Althought the fact is that we're probably really paying for it anyway if there's some sort of business deal going down.  

I hope it hurt learning English, I really do.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-11-11 04:39:30 |Display all floors

rextyranosau

In China ,to eat Tofu also means to get fresh with women.

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2004-11-11 12:19:53 |Display all floors

To nicedi2003

unless China becames a very developed country, no white people would  take your advice.

this is the cruel fact.

But I would like to thank you for your contribution.

_____
To foreign friends:

Just feel at home and do whatever you want in a banquet.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-11-11 13:33:37 |Display all floors

Hey uber'

Loved it ( Roars with laughter) Having a bad day?
I love those drinking games, when someone starts with me I make sure EVERYBODY gan beis together, then I quickly propose the second toast EVERYBODY TOGETHER. now I've had two and so have they, I'm far from my limit but they are near theirs (Unless I'm in Shandong, in which case I hide in my hotel and turn out the lights and turn my phone off)
Let's see who comes back for more after that little blast. Even better if their are a few foreigners who know how to play. Bring on the Bai jeo boys, we'll wipe the floor with you. ( but make sure you see the waitress fill the glasses from the same bottle yours is poured from, the cheating f@cks like to drink water some times.

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2004-11-11 14:17:59 |Display all floors

mmm

achoo,

Thanks, I wrote that when I got home at 2.40am after being at the pub for 6 hours.  I can't remember writing it...

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