If societies care for them as young couples starting out in life together to build a family unit which is the unit of measurement by the heavens, societies should not impose norms which will pass with time even for all the ostentatious display of commitment.
After all, spending money does not guarantee continued love and overspending it can increase tension between couples later on when it is needed and savings are less from having been spent; surely society does not want that outcome?
Furthermore, dowry demands make a mockery of parental love for the daughter extending to parental love for the couple of whom the daughter becomes one of two essential components.
One doesn't sell a daughter off in marriage like selling how many kati's of meat, does one? Even if some of the dowry will be returned to the couple, such a requirement to test the financial capability of the man may indirectly create the norm that discourages the right man for the daughter hard enough to surrender the courtship and thus abbreviate another true love in the pool of true loves in society. Or he may have to take a loan and then be saddled with discharging it later when the cashflow will be tighter and the resulting financial disruption may jeopardize the relationship of the marriage.
Rich men may afford but if that is only so, does it mean poor men will not have a chance to chase true love too?
This dowry and festival business adds an unnecessary financial load onto the couple. They will need money to pay their own bills independent of their parents. Why not family and friends each donate a little something to the couple and in return the couple host a simple dinner of sweet cakes and tea, regardless the financial status of the man? Blow some balloons if needed but don't blow savings needed to buy the wok or refrigerator or to save for baby's milk and diapers later.
The rich should humble themselves and make a donation to a worthy charity or cause. Why not the rich donate what they would have spent on their festivity to another couple who are too poor to even marry? The gates of heaven will open in delight to bless such a token of acknowledgment that there is more to leading a great life than by customs thought by small men.
Start humble together by remembering one came to this world bringing nothing in the first place.
To equate true love to how much money spent is to reduce love to something which can come and go in the flux of the fortunes of life. How 'true' can it then be? And how can love be shown as true when it is all just about saving face? What has face got to do with heart?
Frankly, those who have been married long will wonder what's all the fuss and hooha. Don't underestimate that question. Save money which will certainly be needed in the uncertainties of a near future.
Simplify, neatify and clarify.
(is that the tenth rule of good society? one wonders, too)...
"Article 3 Marriage upon arbitrary decision by any third party, mercenary marriage and any other acts of interference in the freedom of marriage shall be prohibited. The exaction of money or gifts in connection with marriage shall be prohibited."
Asking for bride price makes you are a criminal under China's law.