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seneca Post time: 2016-6-29 08:53
I disagree with you in saying that a "guardian" can do as good a job for the children as the child ...
It doesn't matter who raises the child as long as that child is raised with love. In a typical Chinese family with many children, the children are often not loved equally anyway. Even though they all live together, one child may not really be loved by their parents at all, but that child may be loved by someone else, like another woman hired to breastfeed the child (because the child's own mother doesn't love them enough to breastfeed them herself.) This playing of favoritism is very common in Chinese culture, and I see it in many Chinese families overseas. So a biological parent is not necessarily best. Possibilities are too numerous for anyone to be able to categorize anything.
It doesn't matter if the parents are fit to have children. The fact is, the children are already born. What to do now. You cannot control which people can or cannot give birth. So as long as the child can live with someone that loves them, that child will grow up to be a healthy, well-functioning adult.
Sometimes I tend to think that the pressure of family responsiblity is too much and some parents actually want to run away. So call them that or whatever, but there's nothing wrong with leaving the children with the grandparents in the countryside, under normal circumstances.
In China, perhaps you don't have normal circumstances, I don't know. Because I always see the younger Mainland Chinese talking badly of their elderly. Maybe they are complaining of the elderly, because the Mainland Chinese elderly are not respectable, having been communists in earlier years. Who knows.
Even about the poorly behaving Chinese tourists, you get comments from the Mainland Chinese saying that they are usually old, uneducated people. Chinese are always bashing the old, so probably that's why they think it's wrong to leave the kids with the old people. So I don't know what happened to China, that the Chinese elderly are so uncivilized and incompetent in everything, that they are unable to raise the children without concern. These grandparents did after all raise the parents.
I don't get it.