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Some comments on sleeping with students
Even in Western nations like Canada and the U.S., there are generally strict guidelines about having a sexual relationship with your students.|
This is hardly a uniquely "Chinese" thing; the syndrome of students falling in love with their teachers, or having sexual attraction for a teacher, is universal.
There are several reasons for this. It may be that they see the teacher as an authority figure. It may be that they feel gratitude for the way their teacher has helped them. It may simply be that they expect the teacher to give them better grades in exchange for sex.
I was TRAINED as a teacher in Canada, and as such went through EXTENSIVE training on this subject. The overall rule -- if a student wants to have sex with you, DON'T DO IT. If there IS a "real relationship" between the two of you, wait until after the student graduates to pursue that relationship.
You have students come knocking on your door, seeking to have sex with you? And you ask, "What would any normal man do?".
I'll tell you. A SANE man would simply say "no". Hell, in Canada, sleeping with a student could open you up for a sexual harassment suit. Why does being in China mean that you should behave any differently?
And the "I'm a man, I can't control myself" argument just doesn't hold water. You CAN control yourself; you just choose not to.
I also agree with Sleepye that people tend to hang out with people who are like them...if most of the Chinese women you are meeting act this way, then I'd say that it says something about your personality, or the people you hang out with.
Yes, I've had many opportunities to have sex with Chinese women -- women who've virtually thrown themselves at me, begging to have sex with me (and I'm not even an especially handsome man). I had one time that a Chinese woman came to visit me at my home, asked to use my bathroom, then walked out stark naked and tried to drag me to the bedroom.
But I am able to control myself; my reputation in China is VERY important for my work, and the last thing I need is a Chinese woman getting pregnant, or accusing me of sexual harassment, or anything like that.
Besides which...I happen to ENJOY "the chase"...the process of getting a girl to fall in love with me. I'm just not turned on when it is TOO easy.
More than that -- I'd say that about 80% of my Chinese friends are female. We are not lovers; we've never had sex together; and it is not my intention to have sex with them.
NONE of these women are women who would throw themselves at a man (foreigner or Chinese). Some of them are still virgins, and determined to keep their virginity until they get married. Others have had several boyfriends, and are not virgins. But NONE of them are "sluts", or just sleep around with any guy that interests them.
I certainly CAN understand men who, when meeting an attractive woman in a bar, and that woman makes it obvious that she wants to have sex with them, will take that girl home with them. Its not unusual behavior.
But in regard to students? Sorry, but I'm not sure what to say about a "professor" who would sleep with his students, REGARDLESS of whether they are willing or not. Such behavior would certainly get me in trouble in Canada; I don't see why living in China is a license to act any differently.