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10 Facts About Good Parenting

Popularity 5Viewed 7854 times 2015-12-15 07:05 |Personal category:Education|System category:News

As every teacher knows, most children reflect their parents in attitude, life priorities, life skills and relationship skills. I have come to the conclusion that when I teach a child, I'm far more interested in the attitude of the parent than I am in the abilities of the child. Even a child who is not a good student can turn around and become one so long as they are guided properly by parents and teachers.

Here are 10 facts I know about good parenting. I know these facts from having raised two successful daughters myself and by interacting with nearly 8,000 parents of students I've taught. I've seen good parents, great parents, average parents and very bad parents. I want to share what I've learned.

Fact #1 - A good parent is involved with their child. Their child isn't being raised by others. The parent is raising the child themselves. They have made their child their priority in life. They know what their child's homework is. If the child is at home in the evening, the parent is making sure that their homework gets done because the parent is present. They know what their child's favorite color is. They know how their child thinks and most of their unique qualities. They know this because they are there for their child. Absent parenting never works well for a child.

Fact #2 - A good parent has moral character as their primary aim for the development of their child. Parents do this by modeling good moral character. The old saying, "Children do what you do; not what you tell them", says it best. They instill good habits and good traits into their child by modeling it themselves.

Fact #3 - A good parent makes eduction a top priority. Moral character comes before education in a list of priorities for good parenting. However, education comes closely behind. Education as a focus means more than getting your child into the right school. It means making sure that your child is constantly learning. 

Fact #4 - A good parent devotes their time to their children. You can't be working 10 hours a day and focused on making money and still have time for your child. My children's mother (my ex-wife) was great at doing this. She would sit down with my children every evening and guide them in doing their homework. She made sure that if they missed a day of school that it was because they were truly sick and not just wanting to stay home because they didn't want to go. This is what a good parent does.

Fact #5 - A good parent makes sure that their child is involved in activities that don't just involve study. For example, a good parent knows the need to have their child involved in activities such as sports, music, art, drama, etc. A child needs an outlet for exercise,creativity and play. Children need to play. It is part of their healthy development both physically and psychologically.

Fact #6 - A good parent knows how to have fun with their child while still maintaining respect from their child. Children need to know that you are a happy person. They'll know this best when you have fun with them. 

Fact #7 - A good parent knows to be honest with their child. Sometimes, I share with my students the frustration I had in school. I didn't like it then any more than they like it now. I let them know that. I've been where they are now. I know what it's like even though I don't know everything that a Chinese student feels. It is important to teach them to do things that they sometimes don't like doing or don't want to do. You did it and they can do it too.

Fact #8 - A good parent shows their child love. I know that it isn't so popular to show affection and love in China. But, we are emotional beings. We all have emotional needs. Children need to hear you say 'I love you'. They need to feel that from you.

Fact #9 - A good parent knows how to work 'with' teachers and educators rather than 'against' them. Parents who want to blame teachers for their own lack of good parenting are hurting their child. The teacher will survive your disapproval. Teachers have dealt with hundreds, if not thousands, of parents. If they've been teaching more than 5 years, they've likely seen every kind of parent. Good parents know that to develop their child, they need to be on the same team with the teacher. The teacher may have hundreds of students to deal with. Parents need to know this and be aware. But, a teacher gets very excited when a parent has a positive attitude about school and about their child's learning. That parent gets noticed and their child will get much more of the teacher's time and attention.

Fact #10 - A good parent knows that praise works better than constantly scolding and being negative with their child. A good parent knows that they can control a happy child far better than they can a unhappy child. It's how the brain chemistry works. A happy brain can and will learn more faster. The student will develop faster when the parent is positive in their approach of raising their child.

These are facts I've learned from being directly involved in education for 25 years. I owned my own school for 15 of those years and have observed thousands of kids. I hope to influence parents in a positive way so that their child can get the best education possible and live a happy, fulfilled life.

(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)




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Comment Comment (4 comments)

Reply Report Si-Chong 2015-12-20 12:50
Great article! Always believe a child doesn't succeed unless he or she has a appropriate parental foster.
Reply Report KIyer 2015-12-20 15:55
Good one!
Reply Report MichaelM 2015-12-20 20:00
KIyer: Good one!
Thank you
Reply Report samlam 2015-12-23 12:43
The advice in your writing about how to be a good parenting is very useful and helpful for parents.

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Michael is the author of the transformational book, Powerful Attitudes. He is a professional educator, an educational consultant, an author. He lives in Zhengzhou, Henan Province. He enjoys playing guitar and writing poetry. He loves China.


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