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Are you really independent?

Popularity 3Viewed 1097 times 2020-2-26 17:10 |System category:Life

Last week, I received a call from one of my best friends and she expressed her happiness because she had secured admission in one of the top-notched universities based on her efforts, dedication and devotion. Certainly, she had been an independent girl in her life since the high school, doing some part time jobs and making an impact on the society by setting a perfect example for others. During our conversation, I just asked about her ideal as her soulmate. She breathed deeply with a smile on her face but she was on the same track where we find many conservatives. She highlighted the same materialistic demands including sufficient bank balance, a luxurious car and most importantly a house. On the contrary, she was also persistent on her independent life. I was listening to her in a contemplative manner. The only thing I liked about her thinking was being honest. She had the ability to read my eyes and instantly she asked, “What’s the matter? You don’t seem happy”. I nodded my head, as I was neither happy nor angry at all. I asked her a question, do you want to remain an independent person after your marriage and she said “of course, why not? I am an independent person and will remain till the end of my life”.

I smiled for a while and said, “how can you be independent while being dependent about your needs on your husband? It is in human nature when they give something to someone, they show their dominance especially the husbands never respect their wives who are dependent on them and the exception can be given to personal belongings.  There was a pindrop silence for a few minutes, she was petrified or shocked or maybe had realized the true meaning of “being independent”. I continued my stance and shared my own experience when I was in the UK. In that society the people go Dutch beyond just meals to not burden others and some couples even adopt the same principle in every aspect of life. They buy cars, flats, groceries by contribution based on half share. It gives an ultimate independent life to both genders. When I stopped, her smile was apparent with tears of joy and just said a sentence that really made me proud. “I will never ever compromise on my independence”.

In life, we always think about ourselves, my family, my siblings, my kids but we never think the real meaning of life. We expect everything from our soulmates who themselves are in a struggling phase especially this responsibility is given to males only. Rather standing by them, we just pressurize them. We do not realize the contemporary lifestyle is full of astringent obstacles that can only be faced together. We even do not know the true meaning of independence and we are just materialistic, selfish and blind. We can see but we cannot see, we can feel but we cannot feel, we can think but we cannot think, we just live but even we do not know how to live…

(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)


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Reply Report SEARU 2020-2-27 21:37
To the editor:
Just now I have made one comment but the posting failed;  Before that I had also posted one new blog which missing when I tried editing.  Something is wrong with your web for technical reason, isn't it?
Reply Report SEARU 2020-2-27 21:38
Strange! Why did the comment above succeed?
Reply Report kraza 2020-3-4 02:19
SEARU: To the editor:
Just now I have made one comment but the posting failed;  Before that I had also posted one new blog which missing when I tried editing ...
Hi, thanks for your comment. Yes even i don't know what's gone wrong with your comment. Just feel free to give your opinion about it. Thanks again.
Reply Report Chengking 2020-3-4 11:51
All young people growing up yearn to be independent. It takes time to truly grow up.
Reply Report kraza 2020-3-5 16:00
Chengking: All young people growing up yearn to be independent. It takes time to truly grow up.
Thanks for your comment. I am completely agreed with you but i just raised up an issue that we must understand how we can be independent in a true sense despite any gender.

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  • Are you really independent? 2020-3-5 16:00

    Chengking: All young people growing up yearn to be independent. It takes time to truly grow up.
    Thanks for your comment. I am completely agreed with you but i just raised up an issue that we must understand how we can be independent in a true sense despite any gender.

  • Are you really independent? 2020-3-4 11:51

    All young people growing up yearn to be independent. It takes time to truly grow up.

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