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Thoughts on Love

Viewed 1103 times 2016-2-10 10:58 |Personal category:Life|System category:Life

Every girl has a dream of the prince charming in shining armor with sparkling eyes and a killer smile. But it takes a girl some time to realize that the perfect guy she dreams of is just like the perfect dress or shoes in display that may not actually look perfect on her. She may finally understand that love is not the pursuit of the best person in the world, because if so, then love would become mathematics, only the equation of the qualities that an eligible person has. And love would be impossible if everyone wants the best person. So ultimately love is about a good match, about finding a partner, about the right person for you and only for you.

Some people think that the “left-over women” cannot find a husband because they often have excessively high criteria, and that they would eventually find someone if they are willing to lower their criteria. And in those people’s eyes, the criteria are no more than looks, money, educational background, etc. It would be useless and utterly unimaginable to explain to those people that the so-called criteria are not everything that matters. There can be something that is harder to meet than those standards. At least the worldly standards are not so difficult to measure and compare. You can even rate each candidate and choose the one with the highest points. But feelings, are the most elusive and inexplicable thing. You can hardly describe what qualities in a man that will make your heart miss a beat, or suddenly breathless, or feel like lightning strikes. Sometimes it is not even a particular quality that makes you have that feeling. It may be as trivial as a smile, a look, a sentence, a sigh, the way he walks towards you, the sound of your name on his lips, the profile of his face against the sunset, a brief moment of vulnerability, or a burst of courage. 

Love is so different from other things in our lives. It is detached from reason, from sensibility, and it is not solely decided by yourself. You can say it is influenced by your determination, by chance, luck or even fate. There are too many things that might change it, and too many things that you cannot control. It is not purely independent of the worldly troubles or worries. But faced with all the uncertainty and the possibility that we might get hurt, what else is there to do except to follow your heart, to plunge into the darkness and have faith that you will either find someone that will hold your hand firmly and walk with you through the darkness or emerge stronger with the capability of facing the darkness by yourself. Be it joy or pain, love is always a winning battle. In happiness, you shall have the luck of the world and glide through life with spirit and courage. In pain, you shall understand the miseries of others fully and see the other side of the world as you have never seen before, with empathy and sympathy. Whenever love happens, embrace it. It does not happen to everyone. Be glad that you have the capacity to love and to make someone else happy. The biggest power in the world is love, because it holds the secret to happiness and pain at the same time. 

True love does not trap you or hold you down. It sets you free and makes you fly higher. It might not last for your whole life, but it will benefit your whole life. It makes you into the best person you can become, with or without him. And at the end of life, you will not fear death, because you have lived a fulfilled life, you have loved deeply and have been loved deeply. 

(Original work by the author Helen; first published on China Daily blog at 11:05am, Feb 10th, 2016)

About Author: Helen, currently a freelance translator in Shanghai. Loves reading and writing and everything related to languages. If you would like to forward or share this blog, please contact the author at helenriver1414@sina.com

(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)


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