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The difficulties of aKyoikumama

Popularity 12Viewed 3957 times 2015-5-25 23:48 |Personal category:review|System category:Others

Kyoikumama is a Japanese word, which refers to a mother who relentlessly pushes her children toward academic achievement. I happen to know such one, whose unselfish dedication and strict demands towards her son is totally beyond my former experience and imagination. Yeah, I am the English tutor of his ninth grade son. Although I get to know that she is a loving mother and kind employer after getting along with her family, I would never agree with her educational ideas.

Maybe what’s wrong is not her personal ideas but the educational trend in Zhengzhou, or even in Henan Province, where the stress of entering a higher school is extremely fierce. You know there are so many students here, yet with relatively less educational sources. That is to say, only top students in each school have chance to further their study in higher schools of high-quality and change their fate through education. Believe it true or not, at least most Chinese parents think it the only way for their children to succeed in the future.

 Shidai(his nick name) is studying in a third-class middle school near his home. Being a top student in his class and even in the whole grade, he isn’t happy at all. He has almost no friends in school due to his excellent academic performance. Sometimes, he gets bullied and beaten by his peers when he refuses to cheat in the exams to give them answers. What’s worse, his teachers don’t care about such bad behaviors. According to his mother, they choose to turn a blind eye to these naughty boys when they could have give them a lesson because these students’ parents have given the teacher red envelopes as kind of protection fee. Shidai’s mother finally refuses to give money to the teachers after they go to her home to collect money for several times, more and more. Well, I have gone too far from my topic. What I said is true, really. I didn’t even believe it when I first heard it from his mother.

Besides, he is not as energetic and vigorous as what he should be in his age. Every time I meet him, his last class is over merely 10 minutes before, and have to go on with my class though he seems exhausted. He bears heavy burden from his parents’ high expectation and endless after-school classes. He is a teenager boy in rebellion period and attempts to protest against her mother. Dramatically, her mother finally win by fasting and lying in bed for days. Shidai promised to have whatever classes her mother arranges for him and do exercises at home as usual. He is really a good boy. In his family, everyone gets well-defined duties, and his duty is to study hard and enter a famous high school. His mother forbids him to do anything that is not related to study. I feel sorry for him to live in a family like this, try to make up for him by designing an interesting class and sharing my exciting experiences on campus to encourage him to stick with his goal.

Last week, I persuaded Shidai’s mother to reduce his after-school tutoring so as to give him more free time to find his drawbacks in his study. I was glad that she trusted me and agreed to dismiss two of his tutors. Guess what, apart from 3 auxiliary classes every week, the mother employs 8 tutors including me at the same time. Shidai is going to take his high school entrance examination on 25th, 26th June. My best wishes for this hard-working boy. Hope his mother would leave more private time for his healthy and well-around growth. I don’t think the case I tell here is the only one existing in Henan, there must be thousands of kyoikumama all over the country. I do worry about these students for their miserable experiences. Are they able to take care of themselves and perform social responsibilities in the future when they leaver school and their parents? Thought-provoking. What do you think of this?

(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)

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Comment Comment (3 comments)

Reply Report Funny-boy 2015-9-30 10:58
Release myself when gain success .
Reply Report yandawei 2015-9-30 12:11
we have no choice in Henan for those students. The mother did not wrong, the social did.
Reply Report GhostBuster 2017-3-9 23:37
Probably, you are more than aware of the one child policy in the past. It was very stressful and strained beyond capacity and capability of some parents.
However, this is life!

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    Your grandpa is a very special person. You are lucky to have his wisdom to learn from. Enjoyed your story. Thanks

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    You are doing good with your students I think.Way to go.

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