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The “hidden messages” in relationships

Popularity 5Viewed 4785 times 2016-11-28 06:57 |System category:News| hidden

There’s one dude hasn’t had a girl for almost 3 years complaining his ex-girlfriend : “ She’s very selfish, she asked me to buy her gift, I did, I prepared flowered bed, candles… you know buy gifts cost me a lot of money I kept doing it for a while but she didn’t give anything back so I stopped and see what will happen. “ 


I lifted my eyelids had a glance at his standard single-for-ever face and asked “ what happened then?” 

 “ She didn’t buy me anything and then we broke up “ 

 “ Because?” 

 “ She moved house, it’s too far from mine, so I fed up spending 30 mins on the way to pick her up everyday.”    

 “Hmm.. good point, damn right you are single.”


As soon as he opened his mouth I wanted to say this man doesn’t know woman, or in a precise way to say: This man doesn’t have a feeling for his ex-girlfriend. 


Some times men use the excuses like “ oh women are so complicated, we are so simple, we’re so easy to be pleased.”  “ Women just keep throwing those hidden messages to us, are we mind-readers?” “ oh god she’s asking too much!” “ She were raised in the castle? such a drama queen! She thinks she’s a princess?!”


People become a pair - this behavior is fully self-volunteered, please ask yourself, in the mirror — just in case you won’t remember your face when you hear the truth. “ Are you volunteered to be her boyfriend/girlfriend? or you are doing this for some kind of trade? do you wanted to get something from it? “


Sex, is not “something”.  Sex is one of the humans basic instincts. Same as love. But do people still possess the desire to love? or just got pushed along by life, didn’t even have a minute to look into the other half’s feeling? 


Back to the dude from the beginning, look what he got when his woman especially asked for a gift, in his mind, “gift” means something to enhance the quality of sex, perhaps in his ex-girlfriend’s eyes gift probably mean that hair clip she pointed out in the shop the other day.


Does distance really tearing the couples apart? Answer definitely will be yes in some way if they’re in two cities or two countries. But a distance like 30 mins definitely not long enough for a broke-up reason. 


Yet the distance between people’s heart could be far enough to be apart. 


So called hidden messages they were never meant to be hidden, you will get it if you want to receive it. Or a wrong number will never get the message. Simple. 

(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)

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Reply Report bex 2016-12-21 08:42
BlondeAmber: LOL
I come from a country where there are large buildings and evidence of complex engineering that are dating from well; over 6000  years ago, yet i d ...
it does gives me a hard time to locate you from your description:)

Anyways, aging it is a problem to China definitely I agree with you. But it also a global problem, countries like Japan, Germany, Italy are all seeking a solution to solve this problem.  for China, the topic " China has stepped into an aging society" has listed in the news long way before we started. several years ago I've read that on paper.

Conclusion is China has aware of this problem and solution towards it would be consider new young immigrations as well as create more related job opportunities.

As China is now in an economic transition period - also several years ago it pointed out its moving towards technology creation direction. the economic structure will change GDP will have a fall in between the junction. But what we can't predict is,  it might raise afterwards.

The good hearted kids still will be taking care of their elderly parents and the baddies will continue not taking care of their elderly parents. I've emphasized many times, this situation is not for everyone in China. It did happen, many times in those weird places. which I reckon is a neglect during the fast developing of the economy.

The China media... they do block a lot of information but it doesn't really block the ones wanted to see more :)  actually most media do the same, other countries media also relatively only report the bad side of other countries of course sometimes themselves.  You also can see a lot of negative news about other countries in China and vice versa.

no..pollution is not a natural disaster... but it was controlled by government, somehow it improved for a couple of months then it become bad again (I saw people posted in my wechat group) well -- i'm not in China at the moment I don't have a say here I 'll go home "experience" it by myself ...not quite looking forward to it on this point as I saw the pictures

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  • The “hidden messages” in relationships 2016-12-21 08:42

    BlondeAmber: LOL
    I come from a country where there are large buildings and evidence of complex engineering that are dating from well; over 6000  years ago, yet i d ...
    it does gives me a hard time to locate you from your description:)

    Anyways, aging it is a problem to China definitely I agree with you. But it also a global problem, countries like Japan, Germany, Italy are all seeking a solution to solve this problem.  for China, the topic " China has stepped into an aging society" has listed in the news long way before we started. several years ago I've read that on paper.

    Conclusion is China has aware of this problem and solution towards it would be consider new young immigrations as well as create more related job opportunities.

    As China is now in an economic transition period - also several years ago it pointed out its moving towards technology creation direction. the economic structure will change GDP will have a fall in between the junction. But what we can't predict is,  it might raise afterwards.

    The good hearted kids still will be taking care of their elderly parents and the baddies will continue not taking care of their elderly parents. I've emphasized many times, this situation is not for everyone in China. It did happen, many times in those weird places. which I reckon is a neglect during the fast developing of the economy.

    The China media... they do block a lot of information but it doesn't really block the ones wanted to see more :)  actually most media do the same, other countries media also relatively only report the bad side of other countries of course sometimes themselves.  You also can see a lot of negative news about other countries in China and vice versa.

    no..pollution is not a natural disaster... but it was controlled by government, somehow it improved for a couple of months then it become bad again (I saw people posted in my wechat group) well -- i'm not in China at the moment I don't have a say here I 'll go home "experience" it by myself ...not quite looking forward to it on this point as I saw the pictures

  • The “hidden messages” in relationships 2016-12-19 14:00

    LOL
    I come from a country where there are large buildings and evidence of complex engineering that are dating from well; over 6000  years ago, yet i don't feel the need to mention this when i don't want like the way a conversation is going.

    Yes I do know that China allows more than 1 child now, but this will do nothing to help those retiring in the next 10-15 years (or longer) as they will still all be children and unable to contribute to society in a meaningful way and care for the elderly as they still need care themselves.

    At the same time the elderly population will peak and there won't be the hospital resources to cope for this, or maybe even the financial resources within families as they will be focused on the child's education.
    I predict there will be a surge in elderly death from unnatural causes as either poverty or family pressure will make them think they are a 'burden'.

    Having lived and worked in China for a number of years, i have observed much that Chinese tv would not like people outside to see.
    Whereas at home, exposing all the darker sides of life is seen as an attempt to address it and find a solution.

    By sticking it's head in the sand about many things or pretending it is not happening won't make things go away.
    Take the example of reclassifying smog and polluted air (a man made problem) as a 'natural disaster' in Beijing and Tianjin officials seem to be pretending there is nothing they can do.

    I for one don't believe tv because certainly in China it is not unbiased.
    For the rest of the world, you can access multiple points of view on the same topic you can make up your own mind.

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