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How do you know if that person is the one to marry?

Popularity 8Viewed 6779 times 2014-5-22 16:36 |System category:News| special person, love, marriage

Do This Before You Say Yes to that Marriage Proposal

**This is for all the special ladies who will one day get married. 
The Main Concern: Is he the right one?
The number one concern of women before they say yes to the proposal of their life is whether they would be one day be included in the statistics of divorces. For the Filipino women, just because our country doesn’t have divorce does not mean the wife is guaranteed happily ever after. For all the technical arguments on both sides, it is an unfortunate reality that there are some married couples who are no better than a cat and a dog caged together. So before you ladies decide, do the steps below.

You know your partner is a good lover when you bring him off an edge of a cliff overlooking the sea and he gathers the courage to jump. If this is his first time, and he jumps, then you have a catch. Because you can be sure you have in that person someone who will jump into love, with all its uncertainties. If they go back and go for a second dive, marry that person because you know that he or she will fight for love, even with all its trials and tribulations.

Requirements on Love
Love requires humility, to be able to show one’s weaknesses including what most guys consider to include the showing of emotions, and— more importantly—to recover, resume, and reinforce the relationship afterwards. When one jumps off a cliff, one is forced to do the unnatural aka. silly, stupid acts which inevitably brings out a plethora of emotions like a first-time diver screaming obscenities at the top of his lungs, mistaking his dexterity to be that of superman, then hitting the water belly-flat and having to walk around with a burning-red mark…. If you can get a guy to get up on the diving board again and re-do everything… you got a lover for life. 

Love requires a suspension of disbelief, or a leap of faith from the giver. Imagine two personalities who come from completely different backgrounds, trying to make it work (if they get married at around age 25 to 30, and live until age 90, that means they would have to live with this once-stranger for two-thirds of their lives. Let’s be honest, if we can’t even stand to live with our parents 24/7, then how much more another stranger? (Marriage is the most unnatural if we really rationalize it, yet every major society is fundamentally based on this institution. But that’s for another writing.) Essentially, to love is to trust that everything will work out in the end of everything just as a dive from a cliff will turn out okay, no matter how one jumps and summersaults (or belly-flops) into it. This is why the best lens to how your man epitomizes love is the moment when the man has to jump off a cliff until he plunges into the water (or never dives). You get a first-hand view of his natural responses that will surely help you make the right decision.

If I were the Pope, I’d make cliff-diving a prerequisite to marriage, like a rite of passage. I would go so far as wager the divorce rate would decrease, whether it’s because the “test of fire” would strengthen the mettle of the husband to equip him with the resolve needed to overcome the challenges of marriage or it would filter out those unable to withstand the heat. Either way, it’ll help with the eternality of marriage.

*Two disclaimers: 
Please note that there is a difference between a professional diver and a first-timer just as there is a difference between a man with Cassanova and a virgin seducing a girl. To be fair, I’m not saying that an experienced man cannot be trusted to be faithful, only that the failure to distinguish may cause one to be mistake spontaneity for sincerity. 

In this modern age, the woman might find it hard to find a pristine cliff for this undertaking. In such case a Olympic-style pool with a diving board would suffice. 

Before I take my exit, what is a definition of a good lover? Now that has been known for ages… one that will be with you: “in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, and who will love you and honor you for all the days of your life.”

(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)


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Reply Report austinong 2014-5-30 10:01
It took me sometime to gather the courage to dive at my first cliff.  just as much as it took me some time to "commit" to a serious relationship.  Malerwei, the analogy I tried to make is the ability to "take the dive of no return" is just like getting into a serious relationship i.e. marriage.  For non-experts i.e. first-time divers, one does not know how beautiful or graceful the whole episode will be.  But the trust that all will work out is the key.  Im not married yet, so I guess we'll have to see if my theory stands once I do hehe.  

Appreciate the comments all!

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  • Staying Cool in the Summer Heats 2014-6-3 15:05

    8 glasses, how much liters in total? thats a lot ! apparently im not drinking enough, but these days are raining tempeture dropped lots, now is only 17 degree.

  • How do you know if that person is the one to marry? 2014-5-30 10:01

    It took me sometime to gather the courage to dive at my first cliff.  just as much as it took me some time to "commit" to a serious relationship.  Malerwei, the analogy I tried to make is the ability to "take the dive of no return" is just like getting into a serious relationship i.e. marriage.  For non-experts i.e. first-time divers, one does not know how beautiful or graceful the whole episode will be.  But the trust that all will work out is the key.  Im not married yet, so I guess we'll have to see if my theory stands once I do hehe.  

    Appreciate the comments all!

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