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How do you know if that person is the one to marry?

Popularity 8Viewed 6648 times 2014-5-22 16:36 |System category:News| special person, love, marriage

Do This Before You Say Yes to that Marriage Proposal

**This is for all the special ladies who will one day get married. 
The Main Concern: Is he the right one?
The number one concern of women before they say yes to the proposal of their life is whether they would be one day be included in the statistics of divorces. For the Filipino women, just because our country doesn’t have divorce does not mean the wife is guaranteed happily ever after. For all the technical arguments on both sides, it is an unfortunate reality that there are some married couples who are no better than a cat and a dog caged together. So before you ladies decide, do the steps below.

You know your partner is a good lover when you bring him off an edge of a cliff overlooking the sea and he gathers the courage to jump. If this is his first time, and he jumps, then you have a catch. Because you can be sure you have in that person someone who will jump into love, with all its uncertainties. If they go back and go for a second dive, marry that person because you know that he or she will fight for love, even with all its trials and tribulations.

Requirements on Love
Love requires humility, to be able to show one’s weaknesses including what most guys consider to include the showing of emotions, and— more importantly—to recover, resume, and reinforce the relationship afterwards. When one jumps off a cliff, one is forced to do the unnatural aka. silly, stupid acts which inevitably brings out a plethora of emotions like a first-time diver screaming obscenities at the top of his lungs, mistaking his dexterity to be that of superman, then hitting the water belly-flat and having to walk around with a burning-red mark…. If you can get a guy to get up on the diving board again and re-do everything… you got a lover for life. 

Love requires a suspension of disbelief, or a leap of faith from the giver. Imagine two personalities who come from completely different backgrounds, trying to make it work (if they get married at around age 25 to 30, and live until age 90, that means they would have to live with this once-stranger for two-thirds of their lives. Let’s be honest, if we can’t even stand to live with our parents 24/7, then how much more another stranger? (Marriage is the most unnatural if we really rationalize it, yet every major society is fundamentally based on this institution. But that’s for another writing.) Essentially, to love is to trust that everything will work out in the end of everything just as a dive from a cliff will turn out okay, no matter how one jumps and summersaults (or belly-flops) into it. This is why the best lens to how your man epitomizes love is the moment when the man has to jump off a cliff until he plunges into the water (or never dives). You get a first-hand view of his natural responses that will surely help you make the right decision.

If I were the Pope, I’d make cliff-diving a prerequisite to marriage, like a rite of passage. I would go so far as wager the divorce rate would decrease, whether it’s because the “test of fire” would strengthen the mettle of the husband to equip him with the resolve needed to overcome the challenges of marriage or it would filter out those unable to withstand the heat. Either way, it’ll help with the eternality of marriage.

*Two disclaimers: 
Please note that there is a difference between a professional diver and a first-timer just as there is a difference between a man with Cassanova and a virgin seducing a girl. To be fair, I’m not saying that an experienced man cannot be trusted to be faithful, only that the failure to distinguish may cause one to be mistake spontaneity for sincerity. 

In this modern age, the woman might find it hard to find a pristine cliff for this undertaking. In such case a Olympic-style pool with a diving board would suffice. 

Before I take my exit, what is a definition of a good lover? Now that has been known for ages… one that will be with you: “in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, and who will love you and honor you for all the days of your life.”

(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)


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Reply Report tedbrent 2014-5-23 11:47
  
Reply Report claudeckenni 2014-5-23 22:52
If a man like you, he will always treat you in a good way. But is he's a really good person inside or is he treat you good only to woo you? How do you know? The answer is, you have to look at how he treated the people around him when you are not around. Is he filial to his parents? Does he have a clear aim for his future? Does he take his study seriously? Does he have many good friends who's willing to be at his side in better or worse? Does he still be friends with his ex-girlfriends?

Only by knowing all these things, only then you can really know the REAL HIM
Reply Report Maierwei 2014-5-23 23:11
It's interesting to see men giving suggestions to women on how to decide on marrying a man.
However women can be so clueless especially in societies where they were made to believe that marriage is an achievement or a must.

In my country there's a kind of ceremony where the woman prepares coffee for her husband-to-be and to his parents. Many say, "Put lots of salt in his coffee! If he doesn't say anything and drinks it, means he really loves you", which to me is just a childish game which doesn't signify anything.

I have to admit I can't understand your cliff diving analogy  
Reply Report teamkrejados 2014-5-24 08:04
Cliff-diving as a test of love: great idea! And then, a few years later the couple can revisit the cliff... not to savor precious memories but to push his/her spouse off. That too would help reduce divorce rates. However, the murder rates...  
Thanks for your great post.
Reply Report Kabisco751 2014-5-24 19:39
Great
Reply Report jandy_fighting 2014-5-24 20:39
bad in english ,not really understand.but from the headline ,i just confuse that this opinion put forward by a male
Reply Report PatrickInBeijin 2014-5-25 09:46
     Pretty funny.  Can I guess the author knows how to dive?     One of the things I like about how many of my students approach marriage (ignoring the house, hukou and car folks), is that a relationship should involve really getting to know each other before making any kind of commitment.  There is no magic formula for marriage (sharing common values, listening, communicating, and sharing experiences over time) that works for everyone.  I do tell my female students that they should find someone who will always want to lift them up in life.
Reply Report austinong 2014-5-30 10:01
It took me sometime to gather the courage to dive at my first cliff.  just as much as it took me some time to "commit" to a serious relationship.  Malerwei, the analogy I tried to make is the ability to "take the dive of no return" is just like getting into a serious relationship i.e. marriage.  For non-experts i.e. first-time divers, one does not know how beautiful or graceful the whole episode will be.  But the trust that all will work out is the key.  Im not married yet, so I guess we'll have to see if my theory stands once I do hehe.  

Appreciate the comments all!

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  • Staying Cool in the Summer Heats 2014-6-3 15:05

    8 glasses, how much liters in total? thats a lot ! apparently im not drinking enough, but these days are raining tempeture dropped lots, now is only 17 degree.

  • How do you know if that person is the one to marry? 2014-5-30 10:01

    It took me sometime to gather the courage to dive at my first cliff.  just as much as it took me some time to "commit" to a serious relationship.  Malerwei, the analogy I tried to make is the ability to "take the dive of no return" is just like getting into a serious relationship i.e. marriage.  For non-experts i.e. first-time divers, one does not know how beautiful or graceful the whole episode will be.  But the trust that all will work out is the key.  Im not married yet, so I guess we'll have to see if my theory stands once I do hehe.  

    Appreciate the comments all!

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