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A recipe for disaster? Possibly.

Popularity 3Viewed 2950 times 2014-8-1 17:02 |Personal category:Living|System category:Life| beautiful, disaster, Internet, somehow, always

It's winter in Australia now and the weather's bloody beautiful. I had spent much of last winter in China and I have to tell you it was hard for a lad born and bred in the tropics of north Queensland to wear thermal underwear and swap his thongs for shoes and socks for a couple of months. Although I've travelled a fair bit with my work over the years I always seemed to manage to evade the winters of other countries somehow. I had been living in China sort of semi-retired, the age of the Internet not requiring me to have a shop-front any more; I decided that I would live in China. Now this was more out of love than technology or economics although the financial gain was attractive, and the flying back and forth was becoming quite tiresome. I had met someone who I was finding it harder and harder to be away from; yes I was in love again.

While I was as I said, semi-retired, she was still working and had about three years to go to retirement and for a single and very independent professional woman her work was important. Marriage and our future together was of course, an inevitable subject that we had to discuss, and it soon became clear to me that she had no desire to go to live in Australia; 

"I love my country" she said "why would I want to leave it?" 

"Well maybe for me?" I said with some embarrassment, after all I'm not much of a catch, I'm older than her and uglier for sure and as of late much less healthy than her, she sure could do a lot better than me.

"I would like to visit Australia" she said "but I'm not sure about living there, why can't you live here?"

This was a very reasonable question to ask I thought why is it always that the woman has to follow the man. 

"Ok", I said with a little apprehension “I’ll live here, but what about we spend a winter in Aussie?" Well, what long suffering Chinese woman who has spent a lifetime of freezing winters in China could say no to that suggestion, I ask you. Of course there was a method in my madness, as they say. I reckoned that one Aussie winter and she would never want to go home and spend another winter in China again. 

Now I tell you all this, because during a recent convalescence following some chemo, I happened to be catching up on the blogs on the CD website when I came across a post from a guy from the US who had fallen in love with a Chinese lady and had every intention of taking her back to the states and marrying her and living happily ever after only to have a rather scathing comment posted by a Chinese bloke who basically said he's a bit of a dick-head to fall in love with a Chinese girl because they only want to marry a laowai to get a green card and leave China for good.  

Well, I don't think we can generalise about the women of China like that, I'm sure there are some who seek a new life in a new country and I don't think it’s necessarily a bad thing to want to travel and see the world either. I'm quite pleased that my future wife wants me to learn more about her and her family and wants me to stay with her in her country; it sort of makes me feel more welcome somehow. I think it is important to learn and understand your partners’ culture and customs before rushing her off to a strange land to live, that could be be a recipe for disaster.  

(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)




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  • A 700 year old love story. 2014-9-22 10:01

    Thanks for sharing your story here, we have highlighted your blog.

  • A 700 year old love story. 2014-9-22 09:28

    laoren1234: Yeh, can't stop to wonder what was their cause of death.
    Yes it does make one think, for both of them to die and to be buried together like that so long ago.

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