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vf84tcat Post time: 2015-11-1 00:22
Klyer, my friend, it's been a long time since we last spoke. My remembrance of you is a man of sin ...
Hello, my friend! Yes, it has been a while since we wrote to each other. How are you? Warm regards to you and your family. Hope all is fine.
Thank your for raising this issue with me directly and honestly. It is like this:
There are two independent areas in which, I think all of us respond to others in communication.
The first is the issue under discussion and our views on it, without any personalities involved. It is like two neutral observers discussing an issue from their personal point of view, but confining their views and expressions to the topic without intending to offend or flatter the other.
The second area is quite personal and how the two correspondents feel about each other, their history and how they take each other's comments as directed personally towards each other.
I try to separate my response to the issue from the response to the person even if both responses are there in a single post. If they can understand and respond forthrightly and not take or give personal colour to the issue, it is good. On the personal front if they are decent, courteous, tolerant to begin with, usually there is never a problem. We can easily disagree on the issues in a very agreeable fashion.
There are some people with whom, even if we agree on the issues, it can be in a disagreeable fashion. I usually base my response to how they deal with me and respond appropriately. While I will make every effort to keep the discussion polite, if it is not possible to be positively friendly, after a few exchanges and reasonable attempt, I will not shy away from giving a person a reflection of what they put out towards me.
Sometimes I will observe people being nasty to others, not to me.I try not to judge a person too soon even if see their exchanges to others are less than ideal. I dont know when and how it started between them, who initially started the downward spiral. I don't want to judge a person by their responses midstream in a flow that I have not seen from the beginning. Upon observing people when they deal with others, from a neutral point of view, often a picture emerges over time. That is how I have found and dealt with some of the more extreme and egregious characters on CD - no matter how much effort one makes to be fair or nice, they simply take it all in and think they are being too clever and treat others or me in an arrogant or unfair way, as if it is a matter of their birthright. Usually, they come down to earth quickly, dealing with me.
Coming to Robert, specifically, I respect his views on the issues, even though I do not agree with him about a third of the time. noticed that Robert has some values I agree with and some I do not at all agree with. He is sincere, consistent and honest about them and passionate about sharing them or putting them out there even if he gets a lot of flak for it (In this, he is a lot like you, IMO).
It is possible to disagree with some of his views without making it a personal fight. We have been able to achieve that even though initial exchanges were not very good. There are times he misunderstands what I write and can respond in a fighting spirit, but it does not bother me, when I write back a second time with a bit more explanation, he understands me and moves on. I do not hesitate to respond with equal spirit to Robert or anyone else. I know some of my responses can bite.
I notice that rather than actually address his views, a lot of people have resorted targetting Robert personally in the lowest, foulest way and using every which way to hurt him, brand him, asking him to leave his country and all kinds of nonsense. There are few who will treat him with the respect and courtesy they themselves expect. They do not listen to even honest, logical responses to such offensive posts. This has been going on for a long time, long before I joined CD. It is fair game now between him and his detractors. I see that Robert can take care of himself in an exchange and gives back as good as he gets, but with a slightly higher class of response than some of his worst detractors. He really has a good sense of humour in many instances and it more about the situation than people. I think some of his worst and most offensive detractors have started to come apart on this forum due to their own doings - they tried to be too clever for their own good.
Like others that I personally have no animosity towards, I will continue to support you and Robert, even though we will agree and disagree on different issues. I will disagree with you, with a smile on my face, with your statements about Robert.
"He is a hypocrite sublime unworthy of the support of a good man like you.
You're smart enough to know people judge by the company you keep. I know you better"
Many on this forum, who agree with you on many issues, will disagree with you that I am that good a man whose support is worth something. I do not think of myself like that. I am also not that smart. Yes, you may judge me by the company I keep, but then I keep the company of a whole lot of different kinds of people. You should judge me by my thoughts, words and actions, hopefully they are all aligned.
Warm regards, my friend. I hope this long exchange makes up for some time without communication.