Author: voice_cd

No house, no marriage?     [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2014-5-8 11:29:20 |Display all floors
Korvin Post time: 2014-5-8 10:46
Well,it's less serious than you think.Although couples need a house, they can't afford the total  ...

Housing is also very expensive in America. It is very difficult to own a home with the high down-payments required to say nothing of the fact Lenders want borrowers to have excellent credit ratings and high-salaried jobs. Most people cannot do this and surely young people of marrying age cannot do it as they're just starting out in life. And that's with the idea that BOTH the husband and wife are working together to borrow money for a mortgage.

In China sounds like a young man is expected to do all this by himself  before a woman will even consider marrying him. Men and women should marry only because they have the same values and love for each other. Then they should BOTH work toward THEIR COMMON GOAL of buying a house.

To dump this huge burden on a young man is very unfair and can only serve to re-enforce stereotypes that women do not deserve respect because they shy away from responsibility compared to men when facing the difficult burdens of life. Under those unequal circumstances how could a man not want to have a mistress or two to mitigate the stresses of his life? His wife is effectively one of those stresses.

Marriage is about equal-respect and partnership it is not about demanding, cajoling or manipulating. To do so will ensure a very unhappy marriage.

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Post time 2014-5-8 11:48:03 |Display all floors
Korvin Post time: 2014-5-8 12:46
Well,it's less serious than you think.Although couples need a house, they can't afford the total  ...
In one word,the culprit is the high cost of the housing pricies in China.


No!!
the culprit(s) are those that think that a boy/girl needs to have a house before marriage can take place. That kind of thinking and values is the 'culprit', not the house price. House prices can go up or down, but greed remains as powerful as ever.
My friend the Black Swan

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Post time 2014-5-8 11:48:33 |Display all floors
Cybor Post time: 2014-5-8 11:28
It's seems a little bit hard to understand for me. It will be much better if you retell it in a mo ...

The more you read and re-read it think on each piece. It will ultimately help you to think deeper about this matter.

Maybe a quick capsule:
Culture is often an excuse for not doing something better. Reasoning: “that's the way we've always done it” also known as the status quo and “culture”.

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Post time 2014-5-8 12:55:07 |Display all floors
vf84tcat Post time: 2014-5-8 11:48
The more you read and re-read it think on each piece. It will ultimately help you to think deeper  ...

Yes, I got it. Thank you. And I agree with you. A "tradition" will be better than the "culture" for it refers more to the positive and permanent values. Right?

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Post time 2014-5-8 13:02:04 |Display all floors
KIyer Post time: 2014-5-8 11:48
No!!
the culprit(s) are those that think that a boy/girl needs to have a house before marriage  ...

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Post time 2014-5-9 14:02:37 |Display all floors
This post was edited by Korvin at 2014-5-9 14:34
vf84tcat Post time: 2014-5-8 11:29
Housing is also very expensive in America. It is very difficult to own a home with the high down-p ...

There are many differences between China and American. But I think they have one thing in common which the couples will work together to repay for the mortgage. In American ,I don't know whether the people must have a house before marriage , then the couples will afford the loan of the house spending. In China it is this situation.

Salesmen usually tell a story which come from American.A lady buy a house at her 30 old age,but she have no money to afford the cost of the house, then she borrow from a bank.She repay for the whole loan at her 50 old age. The lady comes from American.At the same time,Another lady is also 30 old age,she can't afford the cost of the house either.She earn enough money and can afford the house spending at her 50 old age,then she get a house at this time using this money.The lady is from China. Is it really existing this story in the US ? The story tell us ,we should buy a house when we are young. It is a useful sales tool. And salesman will tell you more and more stories .This stories intrude people's mind deeply. And many people who are from countryside want to live in a city. As time goes on,it influences people deeply.

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Post time 2014-5-13 12:42:15 |Display all floors
Korvin Post time: 2014-5-8 09:02
Are you a Chinese people?

yes, i'm Chinese.

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