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#1 pain in the artses .. Yanks.|
#2 pain in the artses .. Aussies
#3 pain the arstes .. Brits
#4 rectal pain .. the Krauts or French (tied).
#5 rectal pain - Russians.
I remember vividly trying to find a B&B in Monmouth, Wales in about 1982 only to be told at each establishment that they were either closed for the season or full. Eventually a woman said to me "where are you from" and I explained I was English and lived in Australia (hence a strange accent), she said oh that's ok, the first place you tried thought you were American and we have been all trying to dissuade you from staying or words to that effect. When asked why she told me that the B&B's hated American guests as they all expcected 5 star "Hilton" service for 7 quid a night and all they did was complain loudly about everything. Something that I've noticed in many travels since then. For the average Yank nothing is as good as home, no hotel, no sights, no culture and no food.
The Aussies come in at #2 because when you get more than 4 of them together anywhere in the world an orgy of drunken behavior and foul language will usually be a couple of hours away. Especially if the Aussies are under 40yrs old. Once that's happened you can expect to find the intrepid Aussies draped over all monuments and acting extremely poorly.
The Brits come in at #3 for much the same reasons as the Aussies, except the Brits will start singing football songs and molesting the Aussies if at the same drinking hole.
The Krauts and French as simply insufferable, drunk, sober or in any state inbetween. The Germans are like large puppy dogs, tongues hanging out and quaffing every bit of alcohol in sight before standing there stupidly muttering Gott in Himmel at everything. If there are Brits or Italians around a fight will ensue after 90 nanoseconds if they are football fans. The french, well vive le arrogance sums it up nicely. From the nation that brough you the Citroen, a car that along with the Fiat uno deserves it's special place in automotive hell comes the French Tourist. Eyes aglow they show no fear at law breaking and nothing is as good as found in metropolitan France. No painting can match those in the Louvre, no indigenous rock art compares to French cave art and all food is 4th rate as for the food, they cannot eat Merde pie or anything as it's all Merde. Insufferable sodomites I say.....
Finally the Russians. Arrogant jumped up newly monied with no conception of class or ar$e. Off hand, off putting and fearless bullies of women the world over, it's Boris Badanik and his cousin Sergei Skumbagski with their silicon valley mistreses Tatiana Titova and Viktoria vaginaplasty who have enough bling to sink a dozen LA rappers. To them everything is for sale and no one argues with them because in Moskva they have 2 dozen ex spetsnaz who will gladly help you see pain or worse because you merely breath in the same room as Boris and Sergei
Do not take this post seriously, it's a joke.