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This post was edited by whampoa at 2014-2-8 21:17|
longzhou Post time: 2014-2-8 07:39
1) Why can't parents control their children in public areas is something that eludes my understandin ...
Maybe, I can address your doubt.
Chinese and westerners are culturally different. As foreigners living in China, I am sure you like China as you are treated with HOSPITALITY. One of the reasons boils down to the TOLERANCE of the Chinese people.
You use a very good word "control".
Westerners (and by western methods), you are more PRONE to using CONTROL to manage your people and your situation. Because of this, you are also LESS TOLERANT of others and different cultures. [Sure, sure Westerners always say they are open-minded but, in fact, they are NOT.]
Chinese people on the other hand are generally FREE-SPIRITED, just like the way they handle their kids. To me, kids have their own world and thinking which are translated into their behaviour. True, as parents and guardians, we are responsible for their behaviour and should mend their ways if they went astray or overboard. It is not that Chinese parents don't discipline their children; only that they do it differently from a westerner.
The behaviour of the French woman demonstates one thing -- sheer INTOLERANCE ! Either she is PREJUDICED against the Chinese (aparently) or she is a very CONTROLLED person , maybe BOTH.
How bad was the child behaviour and what harm has the child done to that woman ?? !!!
I have been to China many times and have stayed mainly in residential areas where I mingled with the locals and eat with them. So far, I have not come across any badly behaved kids. Sure, I have some brushes with school kids in their "racing bikes" (not really top speed, but relatively-speaking), I have come across children who throw tantrums at their parents and so on but they are quite common behaviour. They are nowhere THREATENING to me or have irritated me. In fact, I like their FREE SPIRIT rather than parents using threats and verbal abuse to "control" their kids.
I have seen two "child abuse" incidents in my home country. One, a mother verbally threatening her 5 or 6 year old daughter; another, a father pinching his about 6 - 8 year old daughter. In the second incident, the mother had to pull the little girl away from the father who had apparently used some force which resulted in bruises in the little girl's hand.
Of course, controlling the behaviour of a child is good but, to me, it is only if it ensures the SAFETY and WELFARE of the child; and not because I want to feel proud before others that my child is well-behaved.
As for the French woman hitting the child. First, that is an ASSAULT and it is WRONG. Second, she is a COWARD. She should have taken on someone her size, i.e. the child's mother or father, instead of a small kid.