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Would you marry a woman with a PhD?   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2014-1-14 17:29:27 |Display all floors

Xiao Wang, beautiful woman and PhD graduate.
Source: MeinuBoshi

Would you be willing to marry a beautiful female with a PhD? An online poll showed that out of the 6,000 participants, 1,700 said they wouldn’t be able to walk down the aisle with a woman who had a PhD.

Recently discussions of single and beautiful women with PhDs looking for partners have been trending on Weibo, as male Netizens discuss their own qualms over marrying academically successful women. The topic has recently reemerged as these female “caterpillars,” in their 30s, go home for the Chinese New Year on vacation and meet with parents desperate for the daughters to bring home a boyfriend.

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Post time 2014-1-14 17:29:47 |Display all floors

Looking for a Partner

One such female PhD graduate is Netizen @毛毛虫Claire, also known as Xiao Wang. A reporter from the Modern Express spoke with her about her views on the recent debate.
Xiao Wang graduated from Nanjing Normal University and went on receive her PhD in chemistry at Leeds University in the UK. She remains at the university as a postdoctoral researcher. Her former head teacher at Nanjing Normal University, Professor Lin, recalled her as a pretty, smart girl. Lin said that Wang, “looked very beautiful, was a class leader and a high achieving student.”

Xiao Wang, while not overly concerned with the opinions of Netizens, is curious why they would not want to marry women who have PhDs.

On her Weibo page, Xiao Wang describes herself as, “Empress Dowager, PhD. A scientific researcher struggling on the front lines of a chemistry lab.” She recently blogged on January 5, participating in the trending discussion, “#WouldyoubewillingtomarryafemalewithaPh.D?” She typed, “I want to know, why so many people are unwilling.”

Xiao Wang has personal experience with this issue. “Someone defrauded my photograph and sent it out online. They put a false ad online with my picture saying that a girl with a PhD was looking for a boyfriend to bring home for the New Year. Despite being single, I have never actually tried to recruit a boyfriend.”

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Post time 2014-1-14 17:30:05 |Display all floors

“Women with PhDs are a kind of third gender…”

“I don’t mind the fact that everyone is discussing female PhDs students/graduates on Weibo. I feel that female doctorate holders and ordinary people are the same. I hope that everyone can start to better understand our community,” Xiao Wang said.

“Everyone believes that women with PhDs are a kind of third gender or third type of people. It overwhelms many people. I don’t believe in the idea of this third type of person,” she said. “I myself do not feel that my life is different from the lives of other people. The only difference is the environment I live and work in.”

Chinese registered psychologist and expert Liu Fuliang weighed in on why men are unwilling to marry beautiful women with PhDs. “Men regard women with Ph.Ds. as having one set of specific ‘stereotypical’ characteristics. They see them as a third gender with either a strange temperament or an excessive drive to succeed. Chinese men traditionally see the ideal woman as gentle, soft and virtuous.”

Xiao Wang is puzzled why so many people are unwilling to marry female PhD holders. “I feel that love is just a matter of fate, these things cannot be deliberately forced,” she said.

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Post time 2014-1-14 17:30:24 |Display all floors

Men have traditional views about a woman’s role

Netizens came up with various answers why men are unwilling to marry women with PhDs: “The pressure is altogether too high,” and “It is not a compatible match for marriage.” Netizen @维卡explained that because “the gap is too large, there cannot be happiness.” His point of view is that women with PhDs are already scary, and if they are beautiful then they are are even scarier and that “this kind of woman is constantly under pressure.” Netizen shengchangbulou noted that, “not many women can hold this kind of high position.”

Liu explained that many men still “see men as superior to women,” and believe that in a family, a man should make all of the decisions. When women are outstanding, men are unable to dominate. Many men still have an inferiority complex when dealing with extraordinary girlfriends. They feel a lot of pressure and believe that their devotion to their work makes it difficult to balance a career and family life.

When asked about her wishes for a future romantic partner, Xiao Wang spoke level-headedly. “I have not fully thought it through, but I feel that there is nothing unusual about my circumstances. I still believe in the idea of fate.”


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Post time 2014-1-14 22:47:34 |Display all floors
No problem to that so long as she can cook, clean and look like a woman.

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Post time 2014-1-15 00:26:34 |Display all floors
Sure! I'd be happy to have such a well-read woman. We could have good, deep conversations. The only condition: She cannot be arrogant.

My ex-wife is an MD, and as she went through her residency, she became more and more arrogant, until I couldn't take it any more.

What happened with this woman? Let me guess: She was very focused in school. Never took a boyfriend, because she was too busy studying. (would not compromise) Now, she is done with school and is working, but whoops! Now she is "left-over".

Add to that the fact that she will have to find a man whose ego is not too fragile to have a highly educated woman. She would have to never talk down to him.

This woman pictured above is beautiful. Smart too, apparently. But if a man wants her more for a sex toy, baby-maker, and domestic slave? She won't tolerate it I bet. She has not worked so hard just to become a housewife.

What if the man can find a younger woman who is maybe 20, just as pretty, and not as brainy? From what I've read here, the Chinese man will take the younger woman without hesitation. They want to be  the money-maker who has the control.  (look at 'foreignchinese's' post for an example of this mentality)

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Post time 2014-1-15 05:32:37 |Display all floors
Male chauvinism still rules in China. That's one reason why most  women in the west aren't attracted to Asian or Chinese men.

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