Author: dusty1

Chinese children meet western parenting style   [Copy link] 中文

Post time 2015-9-14 06:22:59 |Display all floors
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Post time 2015-9-14 07:49:39 |Display all floors
incarnate Post time: 2015-9-14 06:22
Really? That's not what I come to understand from western style of parenting?

You obviously don't understand good parenting

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Post time 2015-9-14 08:36:42 |Display all floors
seneca Post time: 2015-9-12 22:50
The children aged 0 to 18 don't frequent truck stops, so naturally you haven't seen any children ...

never have been a truck driver.... fathers have been known to say this to their sons when they think they know it all... bosses have been known to say this to employees .... maybe you should find a better class of children to hang out with...        

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Post time 2015-9-14 09:15:00 |Display all floors
incarnate Post time: 2015-9-14 06:22
Really? That's not what I come to understand from western style of parenting?

Well, the west is divided on this point. Some western parents think a parent is not a friend, but there are western parents who think you can be friends with your kids.

Well, I'm not a westerner, but I also believe you can be friends with your kids. If you are not their friend, they're not going to confide in you. So I think it's possible to be both a parent and a friend.

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Post time 2015-9-14 09:27:19 |Display all floors
incarnate Post time: 2015-9-14 04:56
Hell, if I tell you that Chinese don't lie! You know who lee tenghui is, don't you? There are ton ...

Let's not talk politics, because we know all politicians are liars, regardless of nationality. So let's talk on an everyday level. If you are familiar with the west at all, you would understand how much more a typical westerner value honesty than a typical Chinese. It is one of the things a westerner will notice when they first come into contact with Chinese culture. If you don't believe me, you can ask around. The Chinese typically doesn't understand, because they really don't know what honesty is or how to make it happen in their own life, they don't even know what it means to be honest with their closest friends, because lying and saving face seem so much more natural.

This doesn't mean all westerners are honest, but I'm saying that western culture is intolerant of dishonesty, whereas dishonesty is a lot more acceptable in Chinese culture.

It's like how it's not acceptable to date more than one girl in the west, it's also not acceptable to lie especially to people who are close to you. Some westerners will take it as a reason to end the relationship, which sometimes I also think is too drastic a move, but they are really much more intolerant of dishonesty.

But with Chinese, there is a lot more leeway. You can lie and it means nothing. I have actually been lied to by a Chinese bank staff who has some position in the bank, about minor things such as fees, which I found incredible. I found out later he was lying. Especially if you have some sort of position in society, you should not lie, otherwise it just makes you look really, really bad. But I think people in China don't care, otherwise, why would he behave like that? He just wanted to look good in the conversation, who cares if you have to lie through it, or even if they find out later.

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Post time 2015-9-14 09:37:47 |Display all floors
incarnate Post time: 2015-9-14 04:56
Hell, if I tell you that Chinese don't lie! You know who lee tenghui is, don't you? There are ton ...

By the way, I think you are an honest person, more honest than the typical Chinese, even though you also lie unnecessarily sometimes, most likely learned from the culture. By character, you are honest. Just my observation. I could also tell when you forced yourself to lie against your innate character.

We really are shaped by the culture we're raised in, but as an adult, we can change whatever we didn't like. I know I've had to do this in my own life.

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Post time 2015-9-14 10:11:28 |Display all floors
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