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My daughter says she's lonely [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2013-11-27 14:57:33 |Display all floors
My daughter just turned 8 years old last month. She made a wish on her birthday that she wants a baby brother or sister. She said she feels lonely, with no children at her age around to play with after school. She likes reading but has nobody to share with. I try to make her feel better and convince her that she is better off being an only child, but I am tired by being her playmate as well as her parent, especially since I still work full time. I feel bad for not satifying her wish, as my husband and I are not legally allowed to have a second child. How should I explain to her why she can't have a sibling? I don't think she will understand. Why does my kid have to live without any siblings?

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Post time 2013-11-28 18:31:26 |Display all floors
You can, just pay the fine - get started tonight.
I'm just here for the money

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Snowipine

Rank: 5Rank: 5

Glod Medal Blogger of 2013

Post time 2013-12-3 16:31:02 |Display all floors
Tell the kid, she can understnd your thought and  the reason-why.

Has a sibling to play with is a good thing,really.

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Post time 2013-12-4 10:41:13 |Display all floors
you should let her to take part in several children activities or parties, to know new friends, it will be better

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Post time 2013-12-9 14:20:07 |Display all floors
This post was edited by KnowledgeWisdom at 2013-12-9 08:24

If she is eight years old, the gap between her and another sibling is too great. They will never have the same interests at the same time.

But to let her socialize with other children of her age in activities that they can share will be great for her.

Personally I think the one child policy should be relaxed to two children, which will create a better balance in life.

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Post time 2013-12-10 08:12:08 |Display all floors
My fiancé's son has the same problem, as do lots of kids in China these days.

Sometimes, he wants to go out and play, but there is no one there. He looks for his schoolmates, knocks on their doors, but they cannot come out or are not home at that moment.

Yeah, this is an unfortunate side effect of the one child policy. If you cannot pay the fine, you cannot make more babies.

Here's one thing you can tell her: If you have another baby, she will be 9 and the baby will be 0. There's too much of an age gap for them to play anyway.

When my fiancé came to visit me this past July, she brought her 9 year old son, who had been bugging her to have another baby with me. She told him: "you already HAVE a younger sister: Jeremy's daughter. She is a year and a half old. You can play with her all you want!"

He was excited at the idea, while we both laughed to ourselves a bit.

She wants to move blocks and toys from one place to the other. Cannot speak. She does not know how to run and play soccer or ride a bicycle. She cannot play Game Boy with him or talk about a TV show with him. One time, we were riding in the car together somewhere. They two were sitting together in the back seat. She was trying to play with him, and he didn't know what to do. Her games are too simple for him, he is bored in about 10 seconds with them. My fiancé said: "Play with her. She wants to play with you!" So what did he do? He gave her his Game Boy. She was interested for a minute, then made it all sticky and almost dropped it.

Later that day, he told her: "Mom, I've changed my mind. You and Jeremy don't need to have another baby for me."

Tell this to your daughter. If she doesn't believe you, find a friend who has just had a baby, and let her play with the baby as much as possible. Soon, she will be bored to tears, then she will understand you.

As Seneca said, she needs to focus on making friends, as it's too late for you to make a playmate sybling for her.

I'm lucky: my brother is only 16 months younger than me, so we played together a LOT when we grew up. I feel sorry for all these lonely Chinese kids, even if they can have a better education and more attention from their parents, they are missing out on something.

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