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Does the respect should be regulated by people´s age? [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2013-8-5 11:44:06 |Display all floors


Since our childhood our parents has taught us to respect older people and we should listen to them and never talk back to them.. It´s a must that every child should follow this rule for a better society.

But what about when we are adults already? We should follow this rule blindy?

I notice for my Chinese wife´s relatives even being adults, they still listen their parents like they were children. Same I saw in my young Chinese employees in the past. There is not conversation, there is not consulting and some of the parent´s orders is made it in a authoritarian way like whatever they say is right and the ¨children¨ should follow without any or much discussion.

In the condominium complex where i live there are around 5 or 6 different dancing groups, practicing every morning and evenings by people above the 50s. My Chinese wife who is a lot more younger is considerated the ¨child¨ in the group. As this is a free activity, she joined different groups and she does almost perfect the fan and sword dance. The problem is sometimes when she get late to the dance or made some mistakes the leader complain to her but when other elders do the same, nobody says anything. When she told me about this I asked her what she says when this happens and she said ¨nothing¨, later she said most older people act the same way with younger people.

In my culture things are different. We respect older people and we listen older people but most of them don´t have the authoritarian attitude. If its about a mistake we listen and we try to correct it but if we notice that there is something wrong in that complain, we are able to let them know, we never keep shut nor never we accept orders in bad manners.

Fortunately my parents taught me to respect people and to make people respect me no matter the gender or age differences saying:  always should be room for discussion and conversation, never to argue, never to fight, never create hard feelings, everything should be dealed with respect from both sides.

Why some older people like to give orders without any consideration to the youngsters?

Do they think whatever they say is always right?

Do the youngsters should always keep quiet or not?



Denial, according the psychoanalysts, is one of the most primary mechanisms of defense. It consists in the attitude of denying or minimizing obvious facts of reality with which the individual can´t  cope or whose irresponsibility is unable to meet.

And I agree.

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Post time 2013-8-5 13:58:47 |Display all floors
In traditional ethics, parents like god,it's what we called filial piety.

In modern China, you may disagree, and just do what you think is right, but you don't have to argue with them. It's not polite in China as the elderly should be respected.

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Post time 2013-8-5 17:47:02 |Display all floors
linlinlinlin Post time: 2013-8-5 13:58
In traditional ethics, parents like god,it's what we called filial piety.

In modern China, you may  ...

I agree with you about the respect not only with the elderly, in general, to everybody but to disagree with elders  or parents or older people is lack of respect?
what about if they are wrong? you will keep shut or you will let them know?
I think any observation or correction should be expressed with respect so youngsters can avoid the olders misunderstand them as disrespectful people.
Denial, according the psychoanalysts, is one of the most primary mechanisms of defense. It consists in the attitude of denying or minimizing obvious facts of reality with which the individual can´t  cope or whose irresponsibility is unable to meet.

And I agree.

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Post time 2013-8-6 14:35:30 |Display all floors
messi30 Post time: 2013-8-5 17:47
I agree with you about the respect not only with the elderly, in general, to everybody but to disa ...

The world is not black or white. What if you are wrong when you think you are absolutely right?

In most occasions, it doesn't matter who is wrong or right. Live your own life and do not confront with your parents. They are older and older, not strong any more, which make them sensitive, don't let them down.

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Post time 2013-8-6 14:40:24 |Display all floors
messi30 Post time: 2013-8-5 17:47
I agree with you about the respect not only with the elderly, in general, to everybody but to disa ...

If it's just a conversation between two persons, it's ok for the young to disagree with the elder or point out the mistake.

But if there are many people at present, it's not appropriate for the young to accuse some elder people being wrong, because it may make them lose face and feel embarrassed.

The young can however tell the elder that he was wrong afterwards.

For example, I was raised not to talk  back with senior people.
Life is what you make of it

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Post time 2013-8-6 14:42:31 |Display all floors
There's another rule: a child should never intervene adults' conversation.
Right or wrong, keep silent
Life is what you make of it

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Post time 2013-8-6 15:43:43 |Display all floors
This post was edited by WhiteBear at 2013-8-6 15:45

I understand the traditional culture in China.

In my homeland "traditional way" is similar, but not so strict.

Personally I don't respect other person if one is just "older". Age have nothing to do with the respect. However I understand that elderly people should be treated with some more tolerance, because Their mind is not working so fine, and They lived in different times.

I met a lot of old people who I do respect.
But also many others...

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