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What are the advantages and disadvantages of online friends?   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2013-6-5 15:29:18 |Display all floors

I found this article online where I see it´s quite interesting to considerate.

Probably this new secion in this forum is a good idea to make friends but people should be cautious before to go forward in a online friendship.

I considerate that participating in different topics on discussion in this forum could be a good way to know people´s education, background, manners, their thoughts and their intentions.
I don´t believe in pics or self introductions from people online. Althought could be true and nice, sometimes could exists a risk of credibility.


What are the advantages and disadvantages of online friends?
               
                                                                                                                                                                                                                         
                                                                                Advantages:


  • They can be anywhere in the world.
  • You don't have to be in the same room, let alone the same country as each other.
  • You don't have to smell, see, hear them if you don't want to (which is especially good in the case of smelly feet etc)
  • They can be any age, race, sex, size, appearance and it just doesn't matter with a computer in between you (who cares if the person you are chatting with has hair growing out of their nose? It just won't affect you!)
  • You often get closer emotionally to online friends because email encourages you to say what you really feel, think etc.
  • It is easy to end the conversation when you have had enough (fake a power cut if you have to, or Oh, Look... MSN went down, I can't sign in, weird huh?)


Disadvantages:


  • You can't be close to them physically, you can't hug/hold hands etc
  • You can't go out for a drink, swim, pub crawl, game, etc with them easily or spontaneously
  • You don't really know for sure they are who they say they are (They could have hair growing out of their nose for all you know!! see above)
  • You can find some pretty strange people online (hmm)
  • It can be frustrating to communicate without body language to help put things into context (Was that sarcasm, or did she really mean she is "sure I am lovely?!")
  • Safety always has to be a consideration, not knowing who someone is can be fun, but there is always a chance you are talking to your local Ax Murderer)
  • It is too easy to feel like you are 'falling in love' with someone online (while that feeling can be fun, it is not particularly healthy!)



Denial, according the psychoanalysts, is one of the most primary mechanisms of defense. It consists in the attitude of denying or minimizing obvious facts of reality with which the individual can´t  cope or whose irresponsibility is unable to meet.

And I agree.

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Post time 2013-6-5 16:49:12 |Display all floors
thorough analysis
Life is what you make of it

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Post time 2013-6-5 17:20:12 |Display all floors
DSseeing Post time: 2013-6-5 16:49
thorough analysis

Yes, it is.

I found it in internet.
Denial, according the psychoanalysts, is one of the most primary mechanisms of defense. It consists in the attitude of denying or minimizing obvious facts of reality with which the individual can´t  cope or whose irresponsibility is unable to meet.

And I agree.

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Post time 2013-6-5 17:57:46 |Display all floors
They won't drink all your beer.

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Post time 2013-6-5 18:10:34 |Display all floors
Advantages:


  • They can be anywhere in the world. - I agree.
  • You don't have to be in the same room, let alone the same country as each other. - That's the point - You NEVER know who is where. There are only claims.
  • You don't have to smell, see, hear them if you don't want to (which is especially good in the case of smelly feet etc)
    Is it realy an adventage? I though, that "being friends" means to accept each others as a human beings, not idealised avatars.
  • They can be any age, race, sex, size, appearance and it just doesn't matter with a computer in between you (who cares if the person you are chatting with has hair growing out of their nose? It just won't affect you!). This is good therapy for some racists - to talk with interresting person, and suddenly find out that he/she is ... ooops. And what now? Maybe put the racism aside? But ability to choose any "avatar personality" can be also not safe. Some people create all fake personalities to cure own personality problems. In the internet They can be wealthy businessmen and "family men", but in reality... who knows? And the friendship is (for me) to know each other "for real", no avatars, no "e-mail talks". There was a term "pen-pals" for a people who write with each others but not intend to meet. I think it is better than "online friends".
  • You often get closer emotionally to online friends because email encourages you to say what you really feel, think etc.
    And being close to someone's avatar... can be at list stupid if not dangerous in some situations.
  • It is easy to end the conversation when you have had enough (fake a power cut if you have to, or Oh, Look... MSN went down, I can't sign in, weird huh?)
    Do friends need to do "fake powet cut"? If they need - for me it is not friendship. Friend can say "we will talk later, because now I need some rest". Friends don't need to find "fake excuses" or white lies. Truth is what is the essence of the friendship (for me).


Disadvantages:


  • You can't be close to them physically, you can't hug/hold hands etc
    Yup.
  • You can't go out for a drink, swim, pub crawl, game, etc with them easily or spontaneously
    Yup.
  • You don't really know for sure they are who they say they are (They could have hair growing out of their nose for all you know!! see above)
    Exactly as I said in "advantages".
  • You can find some pretty strange people online (hmm)
    Sure, internet is full of freaks, who build "internet personalities" to toy with the people, and just a "psychiatric cases".
  • It can be frustrating to communicate without body language to help put things into context (Was that sarcasm, or did she really mean she is "sure I am lovely?!")
    This was maybe frustration before someone invented webcam use... many, many years ago. And since internet connection is now a litle better than phoneline modems - I see no problems to show my face to the friends. But some people can find the reason to not show own face... And some of the reasons may be just excuses.
  • Safety always has to be a consideration, not knowing who someone is can be fun, but there is always a chance you are talking to your local Ax Murderer)
    Yup.  Ad.4
  • It is too easy to feel like you are 'falling in love' with someone online (while that feeling can be fun, it is not particularly healthy!)
    This is not easy, this is more or less stupid.


Concluding:

IMHO - "online friends" don't exist.
There are:
- penpals - people with whom You just exchange posts, e-mails, personal messages, SMS)
- online "coleagues" - pleople who share with You the same level of privacy as Your workmates, or coleagues met at the gym, pub, church, or party (communist, or not ;) )
- friends - who no matter on- or off-line are friends, and with whom You have no problem to meet face-to-face when there is an oportunity

But maybe I'm just a strange Bear.


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Post time 2013-6-5 21:09:32 |Display all floors
WhiteBear Post time: 2013-6-5 18:10
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{:soso_e181:}

I agree, a friend is a friend on  or off line,

Friendships start as acquaintances and then develop over time to become friends.  
You can even become friends with relatives and in-laws, but not always.

Attitude : Life is 10 percent what happens to you,  and 90 percent how you react to it.

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Post time 2013-6-8 22:22:08 |Display all floors
This post was edited by dostoevskydr at 2013-6-8 22:22

Woman discovers online 'friend' is actually ex-husband
June 08, 2013


A divorced Minnesota woman discovered that the man she'd been communicating with online for almost a year was actually her ex-husband, the St. Paul Pioneer Press reports. The woman has since filed stalking charges.

Brian Matthew Cornelius, 36, allegedly created an "elaborate online persona" before communicating with his ex-wife. During the course of their online courtship, his ex-wife revealed many intimate details of her life, including her thoughts and feelings about her ex-husband, according to the Pioneer Press article.

The paper reports that prosecutors claim Cornelius observed his ex-wife's home through a webcam. He also convinced her to "skip a court appearance in which she was seeking an order for protection against him." The charge against her ex-husband was then dropped, the Pioneer Press reported.

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