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How to convince family of the gay people [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2013-4-13 21:59:43 |Display all floors
Here is a story I heard today that a older sister made a phone call to an expert to ask for suggestion about her younger sister. Her question is about how to convince her parents to accept their gay daughter. "I don't know what to say to them cause it would be hard for them to bear that and all they want to is to make our lives smoothly and happily. I am not willing to sadden them since they are too old now."

Question is how to explain the old people about the homosexual love and which way is better for them to understand and take it more easily?

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Post time 2013-4-14 15:18:25 From mobile |Display all floors
Dear Diggit, The right question is should be how to convince the daughter to get physical treatment with specialist to be normal girl and accept the real life as it is, from my viewpoint.

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Post time 2013-4-14 20:15:34 |Display all floors
I think it's one of the toughest things to have to deal with if you are Chinese. I know two lesbians in Singapore, both of Chinese origin, indeed one was the girlfriend of a good friend of mine but in the end she couldn't continue with the pretence of being hetrosexual and it broke my friends heart to discover that his girlfriend was gay.

With that said I can only offer advice that my lesbian friends have offered and it goes something like this. If a person's parents are very old and very traditional then it is probably best if they don't tell them, rather find a gay man who has a similar problem and become a "dating pair", they use it as a cover for their real sexuality. My lesbian friend who is in her early 40s does this and she has said that deep down she things her parents know they will not have grandchildren but they are happy because she is at least "dating" a guy.  

My other friend's employers know (Singapore defence forces) that she is a lesbian and have no issue with it. Her mother knows as well as my friend told her mother that she was gay and had armed herself with a lot of information showing that she has no choice in the matter. From what she told me there was a rocky period that lasted a year or so but now her parents accept the fact of her sexuality.

To digress, science still has no definitive answer if homosexuals are born that way or if it's something in their upbringing. There is no known genetic key and equally social conditioning doesn't make people gay either. Anyone who says "go get physical help or that it is a mental problem" should be avoided if seeking answers as the fact is no one really knows how or why some are homosexual or bisexual.

Regardless it's a major problem in China with an estimated 3-5% of the average adult population being homosexual according to various studies.  As to advice, each case would seem to be unique and how to deal with it depends upon the people concerned and the levels of understanding and trust in the people concerned..

Not much of an answer I know but it's a frighteningly complicated issue.
Per Ardua Ad Astra

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Post time 2013-4-14 21:11:36 |Display all floors
iNiceman Post time: 2013-4-14 15:18
Dear Diggit, The right question is should be how to convince the daughter to get physical treatment  ...

So homosexuality is an illness?

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Post time 2013-4-15 09:55:20 |Display all floors
This post was edited by ElinaT at 2013-4-15 10:34

Mr iNiceman, everyone is entitled to their opinion......... it's just that yours is really stupid!Homosexuality might be an illness, but the gentleman iNiceman, (who I suspect might not be such a nice man after all) wouldn't mind watching some girl on girl action, would he? We can conclude that he also needs some serious treatment for his illness. Ha, ah, ha....The doctor says: "Go get a two hour DVD, some Viagra and enjoy your cure. Do not be afraid, it is not contagious!" Weird people always trying to fit you in their little worlds and narrow minds!
P.S. As they say: "Don't knock it, until you try it"! Once you have tried it you might have the necessary expertise to judge.......until then your opinion is based on.........vivid imagination.
P.P.S. It is also advisable to include some bondage hardware in the curing excercise it might spice up the process.{:soso_e107:}

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Post time 2013-4-15 10:26:46 |Display all floors
I'd rather be hated for who I am, rather than loved for who I am not- Kurt Cobain
Well a good start will be explaining that you are happy. You do not choose who you love. In the case of homosexual people they love a person from the same gender.

Contrary to some individual's beliefs, homosexuality is not an illness, nor is there a cure for it. They will be forced to live a lie their entire life and be miserable. In the process they might be pressured to destroy other people's lives too. Telling the truth is always the best solution!

If someone has enough courage to ask you a question seriously, then you should be brave enough to answer truthfully - Cameron Milton

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Post time 2013-4-15 16:09:01 |Display all floors
I agree with some o the comments here, and some I don't. Contrary to the thought that homosexuality is not an illness; to an extent, I disagree with that. I would more categorize it as a birth defect, in many cases. Often one, llike many other illnesses, can't be cured. On the other hand, if it is a result of sxual abuse, then perhaps seeking professional help might get some through it. In those that it is an inate trait, I believe it would be very difficult to overcome. Let's face it, no matter how you try to paint it, it is still a perverted act. It is un-natural. Nature has dictated the manner in which our bodies are to be used, otherwise,men could have babies and women could impregnate themselves. This act is against one of the laws of nature. However, as I have stated, in many cases, natue is to blame. Look at it like a car which has been improperly wired; you step on the brakes, the horn blows,turn on the lhead-ights and the windshield wipers come on... you get my drift. In the human body, whatever mechanism that connects which at some point in time causes the opposite sex to look at each other, and say, Oh,he or she is very attractive... is reversed in these people. Chances are that not amount of treament will change this.  Now, what's the answer to your question. I think the answer goes case by case. I agree with what has been suggestd by others here, even the 'niceguy', it could have been stated better however. If she truly loves here parents and family, then seek the counseling as suggested by nice guy. If that doesn't work and the parents are up in age, perhaps do as the other suggestion, hang out with a gay guy and front to keep them happy. If this is not the case then, since we all deserve happiness in life, if them no knowng makes her miserabe, then ultimately she has to tell them. Try to explain it with as much empirical data as possible to help them understand it. Some parents will not understand it and some will. I'd say test the waters also, so to speak if possible. Bring a gay person by to visit, then see how their reaction to that person is. This should give you a better idea on how to approach them with the terrible info. Sorry to have to call it terrible.. but it is, let's not try and sugar coat as many try to do today, but it happens to be a fact of life. I so tired of these people trying to push this type of lifestyle on everyone else these days. I mean, which group will be next, the ones who like to have sex with kids as adults?? No! It's wrong, just as homosexuality is even though it' between consenting adults. That in no shape form or fashion lessens the perversion. People have been doing thi behind closed doors forever probably. I say, keep the status quo an go on about one's life. I don't really care or need to know what goes on behind your closed doors.
Hope that helps!!

Regards!

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