Author: Danybrit

Trying to understand my Chinese Girlfriend PartII   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2013-4-7 02:27:20 |Display all floors
This post was edited by Danybrit at 2013-4-7 02:30

Jiayang, Let me educate you on a false statement you made but obviously believe. You said "In China, people know that western foreigners are adepts of what they call the "AA" or "Going Dutch". They know that in the West, western males are emasculated and can't act like real men by taking care of a woman, so the best they can do is only pay for themselves and expect the woman to pay for her."
So let me reply to your ignorant statement of my culture. Yes mainly on the East coast and even on West coast many Women feel that to be equal with men they should pay their way, and yes these men either allow this because they are letting the woman be boss (emasculated as you say) or other men are just smart and say" what the hell, if she wants to pay and still take me home, why not" I make no excuse for them, but as I said in an earlier post, you Generalize, I'm from the MidWest (Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Nebraska etc)  and we still believe  in treating a woman like a lady and paying for everything.
I have not heard back from you Stud, I'm kinda disappointed. =( I was looking forward to more conversation, you teach me much through our differences.

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Post time 2013-4-7 02:28:27 |Display all floors
Thanks Smaug, now that I know he is trolling, I can still learn from him, and debate is always fun for me. =)

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Post time 2013-7-5 17:58:47 |Display all floors
hey  i totoally understand what's ur gf's thoughs. its more like some chinese gal's  style. i mean ive been there.    nice chinese gal not like other gals dating boy then being supported by dad transfer to bf. but in our culture Chinese men are expected to be the breadwinners, and take care of their women in every way possible.Chinese guys love, LOVE, to be depended and relied upon. they love it when their girls are "little girls that are needed to be taken care of by them"   evensome gals dont ask anything  we still want you to dosomething without asking.  we consider it as how much this man cares ahout me.  we do or expect  things without asking.  its kinda small gily temper.  coz unconciusly we think  i love him i dont want make trouble or smething to him, if he does care love me he will know  and try as most chinese guys do to us. its kinda "sulking" .  ive been on ur gf's shoes  from what u saying  i guess. im a chinese gal and have american bf.  we've been dating for 7months.  before that i wanted break with him one of reason like this.  but he didnt give up. he loves me. btw, he is so different like other whiteguys in china. he is not coming here for hook ups  and not a loser.  then i realised  i cant just break with him  without honest talking.  and we talked a lot with opening heart.  eventhough we r so different but we r happy.

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Post time 2013-7-6 01:37:34 |Display all floors
Thank you for your perspective, its good to hear her side of the issue. I think my experience has mirrored what you are telling me. At times it seemed like she was almost sulking and would only tell me there are too many differences between us and maybe we should break up. Finally one day I had enough and told her yes I agree this will not work we should part ways. She looked at me and said " no, sit down and we talk"
Jump forward to today and our relationship is pretty good, still have cultural and language barriers but we have learned to talk. I usually let her vent first then we talk, I'm happy, she is happy. She will take me to China soon and I am excited to learn and understand more about her, her family and people.
Its interesting what you say about Chinese men taking care of everything for women. She has told me this, but she is all so fiercely independent and She would never go back to China and marry a Chinese man for the very same reason you and she seems to admire. That confuses me a bit. Subject for another time I guess.
Thank you for your reply

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