Author: Danybrit

Trying to understand my Chinese Girlfriend PartII   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2013-3-29 11:51:51 |Display all floors
robert237 Post time: 2013-3-29 11:47
I hope he doesn't win the lotto or he'll probably fall into a deep depression.

Think positive, if that happened he will be able to pay for a mistress later after the honeymoon period dries out.
I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one. George Bernard Shaw. Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one. Winston

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Post time 2013-3-29 11:56:05 |Display all floors
ericinchina Post time: 2013-3-28 19:51
Think positive, if that happened he will be able to pay for a mistress later after the honeymoon p ...

But with his luck his mistress would probably insist on paying for everything too.
If capitalism promotes innovation and creativity then why aren't scientists and artists the richest people in a capitalist nation?

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Post time 2013-3-29 12:58:07 |Display all floors
This post was edited by ericinchina at 2013-3-29 13:00
robert237 Post time: 2013-3-29 11:56
But with his luck his mistress would probably insist on paying for everything too.

Lucky begger lol. OH and how do I edit my signature, I have forgotten and it is all wrong.
I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one. George Bernard Shaw. Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one. Winston

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Post time 2013-3-29 22:00:16 |Display all floors
Hi DannyBrit. Some of these guys are making far-reaching judgments on your relationship from just a little information available. Granted, they are just calling it as they see it, from the information I provided, but I thought it was pretty extreme and rash.

Others are just trolling, trying to get attention and entertainment for themselves because they are sad little people with sad little lives.

If you search back by threads started by me, you will see a thread I started with the same name. At least three guys were quick to jump in and call my girlfriend a gold-digger and passport-hunter.

You said a few posts ago that you figured out the problem and have worked it out. Would you please share with us what it was? Why was she so insulted that you wanted to help pay for groceries?

The most important thing is for you both to be able to talk through things like this; not have little issues threaten your whole relationship. In most cases, (if she is indeed a good woman) you will find that they problems arise from either cultural issues or mis-communication.

One thing I've found about Chinese people is that they are not as open as a typical American. It is a form of self-protection. If they don't say anything, they cannot be judged, right? Not like us, running our mouths all the time. There was a time in China, from about 1966 to 1976 during which people could be executed simply for something they said. So it is sometimes hard to get to the root cause of the issue. Since your lady is somewhat "Americanized" maybe it will be easier for you, but open communication between you two is key.

Others have touched on this, but since she is in the US and you two plan to have your life here, SHE should be the one who is adjusting more than you. She will have an easier life here if she does. If I moved to China, I would try my best to be Chinese, for the same reason. No use in always trying to swim upstream.

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Post time 2013-3-30 02:19:46 |Display all floors
In China, people know that western foreigners are adepts of what they call the "AA" or "Going Dutch". They know that in the West, western males are emasculated and can't act like real men by taking care of a woman, so the best they can do is only pay for themselves and expect the woman to pay for her. It's true that so many Western women have gotten sick of western men being unable to act like men, hence the fact that they try to do things on their own and be independent. Since it's the nature of men to take care of a home, and western males are limited to do so, they turn to other women whose culture is already following the traditions of marriage. Asia is one of those places. Asian men take care of the safety and well being of their family, they make sure their family is secure, has a roof and enough food to eat, while the Asian women take care of that home. So, eventually, western men see that Asian men act like real men, and in their savage and evil nature, they stomp on them in their usual barbarian habit and poison Asian women's minds with their evil venom and snatch them away.

The woman you are with is aware of all that, so like people from non-Western cultures, she tries to understand your habits and adapt to them. Every non-Western person would understand this woman's behaviour, hence the reason why she doesn't explicitly says what she is doing. But it's in the habit of western males to completely disregard other people's culture when they go abroad and tend to impose their own habits, and many times they have gone as far as eradicating those other cultures and kicking away their hosts in their own land. So, because of that, you are a complete ignorant to what she is trying to do (however small of a contribution she might try to slowly bring), and instead you become coarse and beat your chest on the internet while trying to announce to the whole internet world that you hypothetically can pay for everything and hypothetically act like a real man to actually compensate for the general lack of manhood in the western male community. And I explicitly mention "manhood", because acting like primitive barbarians like western males usually do, doesn't qualify.

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Post time 2013-4-2 09:29:55 |Display all floors
This post was edited by Danybrit at 2013-4-2 09:40

Well jiayangguizi8 you have made some bold statements. I really dont like to generalize like you do but have to respond to a couple of things you state as a fact.
As an American male in the Midwest im actually kinda chauvinistic and believe in taking care of my woman and doing all for her. My concern was for my ignorance of my loved one's traditions and her comfort zone, nothing more.
In reality? I would not care to stay with a woman that was happy for me too pay only half. When I look at my original post and see all the different replies, I know I did not do a good job of expressing myself. I think only two replies were spot on and they were opposing thoughts, so I think that shows my confusion for Chinese culture.
As far as Asian men being all you say, I doubt it, she tells me all the time about her life in China and she has no desire to go back and be subjected to that. So while I admit im a male chauvinist I think your the one thumping your chest and i'm not even sure your a male. Again, I apologize for the generalization but this is my limited knowledge of the Culture and even though i'm limited I know your post is full of crap.
Do not be offended, I would love to have a conversation with you and get to know you. =) I do wonder who the real Barbarian is here ;)


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Post time 2013-4-3 10:32:41 |Display all floors
Danny, he is trolling you. He got me too. Chest-thumping? Please.

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